Somewhere I Belong
by Inuyasha Lover 5132
Summary: Buffy moves back home after being kicked out of the house and being sent to live with her father for two years. What happens when things cahnge and some things don't? Spuffy.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

"Buffy are you ready to go?" Hank Summers asked his oldest daughter from the bottom of the stairs. It was a week after summer had ended and Buffy would be moving back home with her mother and younger sister. She had been set to live with her father after her mother couldn't take her bad behavior anymore.

She had spent two years with her father and would be returning home just in time for her junior year in high school. Her younger sister Dawn was just starting 10th grade and was very excited about her older sister coming home. Buffy was pleased to see her in return but wasn't to excited about seeing her mother. After all, would you be thrilled to see the person who sent you away in the first place? Didn't think so.

"You don't have to fucking yell so loud, I'm coming." Buffy said as she came down the stairs with a duffle bag across her shoulder. She had already put her bags in the car and was just doing one last check to make sure she didn't leave anything.

Hank sighed and said nothing about his daughters curse. He was sort of happy to see her go but in his own way he would miss her. They headed out the door and into the car. It was a two hour drive from L.A to Sunnydale and the ride was made in silence. The only sound you could here was the faint sound of music coming from Buff's iPod.

Once they arrived Buffy grabbed her duffle bag from the back seat while Hank got her two bags from the trunk. Buffy walked up to the door and knocked. The sound of foot steps running to the door was heard then the door swung open to reveal and girl with long brown hair. She had on a pair of sweat pants and an over sized tee-shirt. She wasn't tall but she was taller than Buffy.

The girl smiled and embraced Buffy in a hug. "I missed you so much." The girl said as she hugged Buffy tighter.

"I missed…. you too…. squirt…. but could …you let go… I can't breath." Buffy barely got out. The girl let go instantly and apologized. Buffy then ruffled the younger girl's hair and stepped inside followed by Hank with her bags.

"Dawn who's at the door?" Joyce asked as she came into the room from the kitchen. She stopped dead in her tracks as she saw Buffy and Hank standing by the door.

Joyce and Hank had split about ten years ago because they both worked a lot and never spent anytime together. They forgot what made them fall in love in the first place and they decided to end in before either of them got hurt.

"Buffy's here." Dawn said with happiness radiating from her voice. She looked at her mother and gave her a big smile. It was the first time in a while that Joyce had seen Dawn smile like that and the look on her face was one of pure shock. She then turned her attention to Buffy and Hank.

"Buffy's it's so god to have you home." Joyce said as she walked over to her oldest daughter and gave her a light hug. Buffy just tensed up and frowned. Her mother let go then turned to look at her father.

"Hank." Joyce said not knowing what more to say.

"Joyce." He said with the same clueless ness as his ex wife. He took his had and ran his fingers through his hair and sighed. "Her bags are by the door and everything is there so I guess I'll be going."

Joyce nodded and Hank turned and looked at Dawn. "It was nice seeing you again sweetheart." Dawn smiled fakely at her father. He turned to look at Buffy who had a frown set on her face.

"It was nice having you around." Buffy scoffed and looked the other way. Hank gave one last node to Joyce then walked out the door. Once he was gone Joyce turned to look at Buffy. The tension in the air was so thick you could cut it with a knife.

"Well you girls should be heading off to bed. Your room is the same as you left it." She said as she headed back to the kitchen.

"Oh, and one more thing." Joyce said as she poked her head back into the room. Both girls stopped at their respected positions on the stairs and turned to look at their mother.

"School stars tomorrow so set your alarm clocks for seven thirty. I probably won't be her when you wake so Dawn, show Buffy where the school is and the two of you are going to have to walk. Goodnight." And with that she went back to the kitchen.

"I'm so glad to be back home." Buffy said sarcastically as she and Dawn started back up the stairs. The younger girl laughed glad to have her sister back.

**So how did you like this one? Tell me by reviewing. **

**I was thinking about deleting my other story, Much like Falling, because no one seemed to like it. If the did like it they didn't show it by telling me so.**

**I would like to thank Tortall Princess and John cena punk princes for their reviews; you don't know how much I appreciate it. Thanks again. **

**If you like it and don't want me to delete it tell me so and I won't. Thanks for reading and don't forget, review.**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

"I missed this." Dawn said softly as she looked up from her breakfast to look at her sister.

Buffy looked at Dawn and cocked her head to the side. "What do you mean?" Buffy asked not really understanding her little sis.

Dawn smiled slightly at her sister's clueless ness. "I mean, I miss me and you eating breakfast together and just hanging out and stuff."

Buffy smiled and put her hand on Dawn's. "I missed you too, and I want you to know that I didn't want to leave you here all alone with mom. I know she was probably never here and you spent most of your time alone, but I'm back now and thing are goanna change." Buffy said reassuring her with a smirk.

Dawn gave her one of her own and they finished breakfast with small talk about things that had changed while she was gone. Once breakfast was finished they got their book bags out of the living room and headed out the door.

"Ok, so which way is the school." Buffy asked looking back and forth. Buffy had left the summer she would have been starting high school so she didn't know which one she would be going to. Dawn had told her the name once but she couldn't remember it for the life of her at the moment.

Buffy had a car but her father assured her that he would send it to her and that she had nothing to worry about. For now they would walking to school, or would they?

"Hold on I have a surprise for you." Dawn said flashing her sister a wicked smirk. Buffy smiled at how well her sister could pull that look off. It had been two years and the two of them had a lot of things to catch up on.

"Ok so what is it?" Buffy said as she looked her little sister in the eyes to show her that her evil smirk didn't affect her. After all she was the one who invented it.

Dawn looked at her watch. "It should be here right… now."

At that exact moment a red convertible pulled up with three teens in the car. The music was blasting and you could here Green Day's Brain Stew coming from the speakers. When Buffy saw who was in the car she gave her sister a grateful hug.

"What are you waiting for? Get in." Cordy said from behind the wheel. Buffy smirked and got into the back seat with Dawn. A boy with brown hair was sitting in the back smiled at her and she pulled him into a hug. Cordy pulled off and they were on their way to school.

"It's been a long time Connor." Buffy said as she let go so she could get a good look at him. He had on a pair of blue jeans and a black tee-shirt. "Are you treating my sister right?" Buffy asked. He blushed and Dawn hit her sister softly on the arm.

Buffy turned to look at her and saw she also had a slight blush on her face. "What? I have to make sure your boy friend is treating you right." A laugh was heard from the front and Buffy looked up to see Angel smirking at her.

"I made sure the two of them were on track." Angel said as he looked at Buffy with much happiness. He was glad to have her back. They all were.

She smiled at him and put a hand on his shoulder. "I'm glade you've been looking out for her." Angel smiled lightly as the car stopped. They were at a red light and Cordy had turned around to face Angel.

"It's her first day back and she's already trying to steal you from me." Cordy said with a pout on her face. They all laughed and the light changed and the car took off once more.

Buffy stood up, since the top was down, and turned up the radio.

"Hey," Cordy said as she slapped away her hand. Buffy pulled her hand back to avoid getting hit another time. "Don't touch the radio." Buffy sat back down and Angel laughed at the slight pout she had on her face.

"You guys Cordy's being mean to me." Buffy whined in total seriousness. When Buffy got together with her friends she was out of control. It wasn't like she wasn't always like that it was just she acted more like that when she was with her friends.

Dawn put a hand on her sister's shoulder and she met her eyes. "It's ok. Angel's the only one she ever lets touch the radio." Dawn said with a pout also on her face. Connor laughed and Buffy hit him slightly.

"Don't laugh at us were in real pain." Buffy said as she put her head on her sister's shoulder. Cordy chuckled and the two boys rolled their eyes.

Buffy folded her arms over her chest and let out a humph. "I can't believe I missed _**you**_ _**guys**_ so much." The others laughed again and the car came to a stop.

Buffy looked up and saw that they had reached the school and all five teens got out of the car.

Cordy and Angel then went over to Buffy and embraced her in a hug. "We really missed you ya know." Angel nodded at his girlfriend's statement and they let go of her.

She smirked and turned to look at the school building. "Let's rock this bitch."

Her friends smirked and lead her into the school. All eyes were on them as they walked down the hall and to the office.

"When will I see the rest of the gang?" Buffy asked as they reached the office. They stopped and Angel gave her a slight smile.

"Soon." he replied then turned to look at Connor and Dawn.

"You two get to class and actually go there. You know you know the rules, you go to first period then skip if you want." The two nodded and headed off, but not before giving Buffy another hug.

Buffy looked up at Angel and frowned. "Go to first and then skip if you want? What the hell have you been teaching my little sister?" Angel frowned and gave Buffy a hut look.

"You're the one who came up with that." Buffy smiled and nodded. "I know, I was just kidding." Cordy put a hand on her shoulder and the two looked at her.

"We have about ten minutes until class stats" The pair nodded and stepped into the office.

They walked up to the desk and an overly happy woman greeted them. "How may I help you lovely children today?" The woman asked with a smile. She was smiling so hard it looked like her cheeks were going to burst.

Buffy looked at Angel and Cordy. They just gave her a look that said 'she's always like this so get used to it.' Buffy sighed and now a frown was set on her face.

"My name is Buffy Summers and I need a list of all my classes." The woman just smile and nodded. She hummed some stupid song as she typed Buffy's name into the computer. "Ok, here we are." She pressed print and out came the list. She handed it to Buffy and she took it out of her hands.

"Have a nice day." The woman called after them as they walked out the door. She started humming and went back to work.

"Cool, you have most of you classes with us and the rest of the gang." Cordy said as they walked down the hall to their first class. Buffy just nodded and looked over her class list. Angel was gone leaving just Buffy and Cordy to walk to class.

He told her to be good and not to get into too much trouble on her first day. Buffy had laughed and told him he sounded like a worried parent. He smiled and gave Cordy a quick peck and the lips and Buffy a peck and the head.

"Were here." Cordy said as the two of stood in front of door. She looked at Buffy and Buffy smirked. Cordy took that as a sing to open the door, so she did.

The bell rang just as the door opened and all heads turned to see Cordy walk through the door with a girl at her side. They walked over to the teacher's desk and Cordy told her something. Buffy then handed her a note and the teacher looked up at her and smiled.

Cordy took her seat and the teacher stood up and the room went silent.

"Class we have a new student. Her name is Buffy Summers and I want you all to make her feel welcome." She smiled and turned to Buffy who was frowning. "Why don't you tell us a little about your self?"

Buffy was about to make a smart remark but Cordy gave her a stern look and she sighed and rolled her eyes. "My name's Buffy and my little sister is Dawn Summers, and if I find out that any of you did anything to up set her I'll beat you within an inch of your lives."

The teacher looked shocked but just nodded and directed her to sit by Cordy since she seemed to already know her. Buffy took her seat and smiled triumphantly at Cordy.

Cordy sighed and looked at the blond. "I should have known that you would say something like that." Buffy just smirked and turned to the front of the class.

Class was over in a very short forty-five minutes and the two girls were just heading out the door. Cordy walked Buffy to her next class, even though she didn't have it with her. The two girls said their goodbyes and Cordy headed off to class before the bell rang.

Once Cordy was gone Buffy walked up to the teacher and handed him her schedule. He nodded and told her she could sit anywhere since they didn't have assigned seats. She took a seat in the very last row and sighed. 'I wish Cordy would have told me who I had this class with.' Buffy thought as she stared out into space.

"Buffy?" a familiar voice called. Buffy turned around only to be met with the very cheerful face of Willow.

"OMG, I can't believe your back!" the very excited red head exclaimed while embracing Buffy in a hug.

Buffy smiled slightly. Why did she get the feeling that people were going to be hugging her all day? "I can't…breathe ….Will."

"Sorry." Willow said as she let the blond go. She took a seat next to her and they started to talk.

"So how were thing here for the last two years?" Buffy asked. "Cause ya know it was pretty boring in L.A without you guys."

The bell rang and Willow was about to say something but she just stared off into space behind the other girl.

"What?" Buffy asked. She turned around and saw someone who she hadn't thought about in months.

"Hello pet."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

All Buffy could do was stare at the bleached blond in front of her. When she had been banished to L.A he was on her mind every second, but as a year passed she thought about him less and less so her pain would decrease. The two had been best friends and Buffy had always had the biggest crush on him, not that he knew it but everyone else did.

The day her mother shipped her off to L.A she was supposed to meet him but she never got the chance. She didn't have the time, her mother had packed her bags and her dad was already out side waiting on her, if she refused to go things would only get worse so she just left.

Part of her was glad to get away from the madness that was her mother but she never wanted to leave Dawn behind, that was her only regret. Dawn didn't blame her for it; she actually loved her even more for putting her own life on hold for her.

Still the more time she spent in L.A the more time she had more regrets. Her mother had made sure she was cut off from all of her friends, convinced that they were the problem. Joyce had told her that spending a year with her father would help her troubled young adolescent mind and would help her become more matured as a teen.

Buffy didn't agree so she did every thing she could to piss her father off so he would send her back home. That's when her mother brought in the big guns, she added another year to her sentence and told her that she would every time she acted out, thus separating her from Dawn even longer.

But back to the problem at hand, Spike, her best friend, her crush was standing right in front for her and she was speechless.

She became even more speechless when he embraced her in a hug. "Spike" she whispered as he held her close to him. All day everyone had been hugging her but this time it felt so different.

"I missed you so much luv." Spike whispered as he held her even closer to him. Willow just stood by and watched the seen play out before her. The teacher was asleep at his desk and the rest of the class was talking completely oblivious to the scene around them.

She had to admit that when she heard that Buffy was back she was a little worried about what would happen when the two of them saw each other again. When Buffy left Spike was so hurt, he was even more hurt because she didn't say goodbye to him. He spent a lot of time alone sulking.

One day Dawn went up to him and just pulled him into a hug and started crying about how much she missed Buffy too. That was the day that he really stopped sulking and started looking after Dawn.

"We should talk." Spike said as he let her go so he could take a good look at her, after all he hadn't seen her in two years. Her taste in cloths hadn't changed at all, she had on a black tee shirt that said 'I'm only mean to people who tell me to be nice', a pair of jeans that were a size to big for her, and a pair of black and white all star chucks.

She shook her head and looked down at the floor. "We can talk but let's do it later when we have a little more privacy." Spike nodded and Buffy sat back down in her seat. Spike took Willow's seat and Willow took a seat be hind Buffy.

"So what have you guys been up too?" Willow surged and Spike was too busy looking at her to hear a word she was saying.

'I can tell they missed me,' Buffy thought to herself.

Lunch

The gang was sitting out side under the Willow tree in front of the school catching up on old times. Now that Buffy was back things were going to change, for the better that is.

"So what's on the agenda for today Buff?" Xander asked her. Buffy smiled at her old nickname and faced Xander. "I was thinking me and Dawn would hang out after school and do some sisterly bonding, ya know shopping and what not." Xander nodded in agreement and took a bite out of his pizza.

Dawn beamed. "You really wanna bond with me," she asked not really believing her ears. Buffy ran her fingers threw her sisters hair and nodded. Dawn grinned from ear to ear and Buffy chuckled.

Cordy rolled her eyes. "Enough with the sap crap lets talk about the shoes." Angel shook his head at his girl friend as she asked Buffy about the various shops and stores in L.A.

"Well the shoes wee cool," Buffy said a bit lost. She had never been much for name brand cloths. She wore them but her motto was if it's cute and comfy I'll buy it.

"So luv when do you think we'll be able to have that talk?" Spike asked playing with a strand of Buffy's golden locks. Buffy tensed at his touch. Dawn felt her sister tense and turned to look at her. She mover over to Connor and sat in his lap so she could get a better look at her sister.

Ever since Buffy saw him in second and third period he had been giving her little touches and sending her those sexy smirks, to sum it up he was driving her mad.

Buffy blushed as she saw all eyes turn to her and Spike.

"I didn't know you could turn red Buffy." Anya said bringing even more embarrassment to the already blushing girl.

"Anya we talked about the concept of tact, why must I explain it again?" Xander said as he scolded his girlfriend.

"That happens a lot." Oz said in his calm manner. Buffy turned to him and gave him a slight smile. She was happy that he and Willow had gotten together. Willow had had the biggest crush on him since they were in middle school and according to Angel the two had been going out for about four months.

The bell sounded and students gathered their things and headed into the building. Buffy stood and grabbed her book bag and started to follow the others. Spike put a hand on her shoulder and she turned and faced him.

"You have a free period next class." Spike said smirking at Buffy. That was one of the ones that made her knees week. She composed her self and nodded not trusting her voice.

He took her hand and they started to walk. "Do you have a free period this class too?" Buffy asked finding her voice.

He shook his head. "No, but for you I'll cut." Buffy smiled easing back into her normal self. On the way to their unknown destination the two mad jokes and spat insults at each other. Just like old times.

"So what did you and Spike do during your free?" Cordy asked Buffy as she drover her and Dawn home. The guys, Angel and Connor, had detention and were staying after school.

Dawn smirked as she saw her sister's blush. Spike was the only boy who had that affect on her big sis and she knew why. When they were growing up Dawn had a thing for our bleached blond friend, what girl with eyes wouldn't?

"We just talked, you know like we used to." Buffy said avoiding both the gazes of Cordy and Dawn.

"Right" Cordy said in a disbelieving voice. Buffy smirked and hit her lightly on the arm. The two girls laughed and before they knew it they had reached the house.

The two girls got out of the car and Dawn went to open the door. Buffy stayed behind. When Cordy saw Buffy wasn't going anywhere any time soon she stepped out of the car and stood by the blond.

"I just wanted to say thanks for giving us a ride." Buffy said in almost a whisper. Cordy smiled and nodded. "Don't mention it."

"No but I mean thanks for everything. Thanks for looking after Dawn, keeping her and Connor in line, and most of all making Angel so happy." Buffy said slightly smiling. She was never one to smile a lot but today as an exception.

Cordy smiled and gave Buffy one last hug then got into the car. She looked at the girl standing on the sidewalk and sent her a smile. "See ya," Cordy yelled as she pulled off. Buffy watched her until she was out of sight then headed into the house.

"Buffy Spike's on the phone!" Dawn yelled from up stairs. Buffy smirked and told Dawn to tell him to call her cell. She had given all her friends her new cell phone number and knew they would all uses it in no time. Buffy headed up the stairs and went to her sister's room.

It was much different than when she had left, her room was now red instead of the dark blue color she first had, the closet had a lot more cloths, shoes, ect… in it, including the things Buffy told her she could have before she left.

The room also had a lot of pictures of her and Connor. Buffy smiled at the one of them asleep on Angel's sofa. There was also a picture of Buffy and Spike; the two were looking at each other with slight blushes on their cheeks.

Buffy smiled at the memory. They were younger then and didn't really have that much to worry about. Buffy tore her gaze away from the photo and fixed them onto her sister.

"What do you wanna do after I get off of the phone?" Buffy asked as she sat on the foot of her sister's bed. Dawn smiled and sat next to her.

"We could just hang out here," Dawn said avoiding Buffy's gaze. Buffy decided to let it slid but made a note to ask her about it later

"Ok, it's settled. As soon as I talk to Spike we'll do some sisterly bonding." On cue her cell phone rang.

"He just saw me at school what could he possibly have to say to me?" Buffy mumbled and went to her room. Dawn chuckled and grabbed her cell phone off her bed. She dialed Angel's number and waited until he picked up.

"Hello," Angel asked. Dawn smirked.

"Spike's keeping her busy so you guys can start the plan."

Angel smirked from the other line and nodded. "Good, were on schedule. We'll be over there in about an hour."

"Ok, I'll see you guys when you get here." She hung up the phone and headed down the stairs and out the door. She hoped she would be back before Buffy noticed she was gone.

Buffy flopped on her bed and answered the phone. "Yes Spike?"

"Hello luv." Spike said over the other line. Buffy smiled and they began their conversation.

An hour had passed and Buffy was still on the phone with Spike.

"Spike, I really have to go. I promised Dawn that I would spend some time with her."

"Ok, but tell me one more time who this guy Chris is." Buffy rolled her eyes. He was making her regret telling him about her life in L.A.

"Chris is just a friend, nothing more nothing less. You could say he's like a brother to me now. But now I really have to go Spike."

He sighed. "Ok. I'll see you later luv."

"Spike?"

"Yeah?"

"I missed you most too." She hung up and Spike smiled to himself.

How do you like this chapter? I haope I can post the next 2 chaptres some time later today, if not then I'll do it the next day. I took away Faith and Evan so you won't see them in this story anymore. I hope you gys like this and as aways you ideas are welcome. Review!!!


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

**A/N: I re wrote some of chapter three so if you haven't re read that go back and then read this. If you don't you might be a little lost. Ok, on with the story.**

"You guys are so mean." Buffy said as she sat on the couch with her friends around her.

Cordy laughed and pushed Spike out of the way and flopped down beside Buffy. "You know you don't care as long as you got gifts."

Buffy cocked her head to the side and thought about it. "You're right. Give me my gifts."

Everyone laughed and got their respected gifts off the table.

Buffy smiled and thought about how she found herself here at this moment. She went looking for Dawn after she got off the phone with Spike, who she later found out called to keep her buys. She was surprised to find that her sister was not in her room, so she went looking for her but found more than she expected.

"Buffy, are you ok?" Dawn asked bring Buffy out of her thoughts. Buffy nodded and bounced out of her seat. "Let's skip the gifts for now, I wanna dance."

Spike smiled and took Buffy's hand in his and pulled her close. She blushed and he sent her a sexy smirk. "You heard the lady, turn up the music."

Xander turned up the music and the party began.

* * *

Joyce Summers had just gotten out of a six hour business meetings and all she wanted to do right now was sleep. She pulled up in front of her house and was surprised to find the lights still on.

She grabbed her briefcase out the back seat and quickly walked up the driveway to her front door. She took out her keys and unlocked the door.

* * *

"What the hell is going on here?" Joyce yelled over the booming music. She slammed the front door and the ten teens stopped in their tracks and stared. Angel walked awkwardly over to the boom box and turned it off, which left the house in silence.

Buffy broke out of Spikes grip and walked over to her mother, Dawn quickly followed.

"What the hell do you girls think you're doing? It's going on ten thirty and you're acting like you're in a dance club." Joyce glared at Buffy then gave Dawn a stern look

"Buffy comes back and you think that you can just break the rules that we have in this house young lady," Joyce said in an angry whisper. "Did she put you up to this because I know you could never do something this.. this-"

"This what?" Buffy asked cutting her mother off. "Like me? I am not about to stand here and let you do this to Dawn. This conversation is over." Joyce stood there shocked and Dawn was close to tears.

She didn't want her mother to get mad and send Buffy away. She just got there and she didn't think she could be without her for another two years.

"You guys have to go, I'll see you tomorrow." Buffy looked at Spike and saw the concerned look he had on his face, she quickly looked away and started to help gather things up and put them back in there rightful places.

"Bye," Buffy said to Spike as he walked toward the door. He gave her a hug and she healed onto him tight.

Connor was doing the same to Dawn as he tried to stop her tears. Joyce broke them up and ushered the reaming teens out of her house.

Joyce slammed the door as Spike left and started to mumble o herself as she walked right by Buffy and Dawn and started to put things back the way she wanted. Buffy could tell her mother was about to yell and she didn't want Dawn to be anywhere near her.

"Dawn go to your room and turn your music up all the way don't come out until I come and get you." By now tears were streaming down Dawn's face and her eyes were red and puffy.

Dawn shook her head. "No, I won't leave you here to get blamed for something that you didn't do."

Buffy smirked and put her hand on Dawns cheek and wiped away some of her tears. She looked at her mother who was walking towards them as they spoke.

"Go and we'll talk about it later." Dawn looked at her furious mother and nodded and headed up the stairs. A minute later you could hear the sound of rock music coming from her room.

"We need to talk." Buffy nodded and followed her mother into the living room. Joyce sat in one of the lazy chairs and Buffy sat on the sofa.

"What happed to night was-"

"Nothing to get upset about? Nothing to blame Dawn for?" Buffy threw out. Joyce shook her head and let a slight chuckle escape from her lips.

"No, I don't blame Dawn, I blame you. You are the reason she acts like this and you are the reason that this happened. She didn't act like this when you were gone so what other reason is there? Did you think that I was going to let you come back and just have things pick up where they left off?"

Buffy sat there with a blank expression on her face and didn't' bother to answer any of her mothers questions.

"Well incase you don't know I'm not. I will not have you acting like some wild child under my roof; I didn't raise you that way. Things have changed and you should start acting like it."

Buffy shook her head at her mothers words and quickly stood up.

"You didn't raise me at all, I raised myself and Dawn. While you and dad were out making your money and taking care of everything and everyone else I was here with Dawn doing your job. You left use with nanny after nanny and I still ended up doing your job."

Joyce was shocked but she wasn't going to let Buffy get away with that. She walked over to her daughter and whispered so she would have to listen.

"You think that I wasn't a good mother? How can you say that? I gave you and Dawn everything you needed and wanted and I did it by myself."

Buffy scoffed. "You gave us everything we wanted but _**you**_, what we needed the most. You and dad didn't even have the time to tell us you were splitting up. I remember one random day you just telling me that you and dad weren't together any more, after that you ran off to work. The bad thing about it is that I hadn't seen dad in weeks and it hadn't even crossed my mid that he was gone, because the two of you were never around. Do you know how I felt knowing that I was going to have to tell Dawn that?" Buffy finished with a yell.

"That is enough!!!" Joyce yelled sick of listening to her daughter's ramblings. Buffy just stood there breathing in deep breaths trying to catch her breath. "What happened tonight won't happen again." Joyce said raising her finger very close to Buffy's face.

"Things change and people change. Whatever you think you had going here when you left is gone. You think your friends are the same? Well I got news for you, there not. They grew up so why won't you. Everything you thing you know has changed, so you should too and grow up!!!"

Buffy let everything her mother just said sink in before she said anything. Buffy felt like she was about to cry, maybe her mother was right, maybe she did need to grow up, how could she grow up any more after everything she had been threw and everything she gave up to be there for Dawn. Growing up even more scared her more than she wanted at the moment.

"Go to hell." Buffy said and ran up the stairs. Joyce just stood there trying to figure out how a simple talk got so out of hand.

Buffy opened Dawn's door only to find her asleep. The music was still blasting but none the less Dawn was asleep. Buffy walked over to her computer and turned off the music then shut the computer down. She gave Dawn a light kiss on the head and walked out of her room.

* * *

The next morning Buffy found herself feeling sluggish and tired. The memories of last night came back to her and she knew why. She slowly walked to the bathroom and did her morning routine.

She came out twenty minutes later and found Dawn sitting in front of the door. "Hey." Dawn said as she stood. Buffy waved and made her way to her room. Dawn stared after her and watched her go. Dawn shook her head sadly and went inside the damp room.

* * *

"Hey watch what you do to my sister," Buffy yelled at Connor as he greeted Dawn with a kiss. Dawn blushed while Buffy continued to glare at the younger boy.

"Calm down, Angel said trying to sooth Buffy's worries; they do this all the time." Buffy frowned and slumped in her seat.

"That's what I'm worried about." She grabbed her back pack and pulled out her iPod. She turned it on and sulked the whole way to school.

* * *

When Buffy got to school everyone could tell something was wrong with her. She wouldn't talk to anyone, not even Spike. Dawn felt like it was her fault since she let

Buffy face their mother alone. It was her one time she could help her older sister and she blew it, Dawn spent most of her day sulking while Connor tried to cheer her up.

"Buffy, why won't you talk to me luv?" Spike asked as they made their way to the last period of the day. He was worried when Dawn told him what happened last night and he got even more worried when she didn't eat lunch with them.

Buffy continued to make her way down the hallway and ignored Spike's calls for her to talk to him.

He grabbed her hand and she yanked free from his grip. "Don't touch me," she yelled. The hall way went quite as everyone turned to look at the pair.

Spike was shocked but he wasn't about to give up that easy. "What the bloody hell is wrong with you. You know you can tell me anything."

Buffy sighed in frustration and ran her hands threw her hair. Everyone was staring at her and Spike, all she wanted to do right now was go home. She didn't even want to go there so she felt even more lost that when she got up this morning.

"You wouldn't understand," she said as she went to turn away. Spike grabbed her hand and this time she didn't yank it away. She looked up at him and she almost lost her resolve.

"Tell me what's wrong so I can help you." Buffy shook her head and pulled her hand away. She walked away and left Spike standing there in confusion.

* * *

Buffy stood outside the school with her cell phone clutched in her hand. She was debating weather to call him or not. He always said if she ever needed help that she could call him and he would be there.

'Why not? I have nothing to lose,' she thought. She flipped her cell phone open and pushed his speed dial number. It started to ring and she waited for an answer.

"Hello," a male voice said from the other line.

Buffy sighed and took a deep breath. It's now or never. "Chris, I need to see you."

Buffy heard some shifting on the other line and then his voice. "I'll be there as soon as possible. Where are you?"

Buffy was so happy she could almost cry. "I'm in front of the school, Sunnydale High. It's the last period of the day and I don't think I can make it."

"Ok, I'll be there but it's a two hour drive. Can you go back to class until I get there?

"I could do that."

Chris smiled from the other line and made a note to himself to pick up Abby before he left. "That's good. When you get out I'll be there ok?"

Buffy nodded. "Ok. Thank you."

"You know you don't have to say that"

"I know but I want to." She smiled sadly and hung up the phone.

**I know chapter three kind of sucked but I really hope this chapter makes up for it. I will try to make another chapter soon while I don't have writers block. I hope you guys continue to read and review. Suggestions are welcome and I hope all of you guys have a really good summer. Thanks to all those who reviewed and will review lol.**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Buffy walked slowly down the empty halls to her last period of the day. She didn't care that she was late; all that mattered was that she finished up and Chris would come and get her. She stooped as she reached the door and hesitantly opened it.

"So nice of nice of you to join us, I take it that you're Buffy Summers." Buffy nodded and the unknown teacher told her to take a seat anywhere that was open; she didn't even bother to question why she arrived late.

Buffy wasn't about to question her either so she took the first available seat could find. She sighed and started to listen as the teacher explained how to tell the difference between the play version of Romeo & Juliet and the book.

Buffy was relived when the bell rang and sounded that they were free to leave and go home. She was about to walk out of the door when a hand on her shoulder stopped her. She looked back and saw that the hand belonged to none other than Angel. She sighed not ready for another confrontation from one of her friends.

"Why are you avoiding us? Is it something you're mom said?" Buffy smiled inwardly, Angel was always one to cut right to the chase.

She shook those thoughts out of her head and looked up at Angel's concerned face; she hated being the cause of it. "I'm fine I just need to get out of her." She mover back so his hand was no longer on her shoulder and started to walk away.

"That's ok we can walk to Cordy's car together." Buffy cringed. She forgot about that.

She stopped and turned to face Angel. She saw Spike coming towards them in the distance and tried to make what she was about to say brief as possible.

"I need you to make sure that Dawn gets home safe. I won't be home until later, if ever." She said the last part quietly but Angel still caught it.

"What do you mean you might not come back?" Spike was getting closer and Buffy really didn't want to talk to him right now. If she did he might talk her out of what she was about to do.

"I have to go, just take care of Dawn and make sure she gets home." And with that she was gone. A second later Spike was at Angel's side.

"Where is she going?" He was out f breath but he didn't care, he needed to talk to Buffy.

Angel looked down then took a long sigh. He looked back up at Spike who now looked more worried than ever. "She might not be coming back." Spike didn't need to here anymore and was off in the direction Buffy went.

He lost her once and he'd be dammed if he lost her again.

**A/N: I know it's short but I just wanted your option before I wrote any more. Do you guys think I should bring Faith back or just leave her out of this fic? Also I want to say that I am deeply hurt because I haven't been getting many reviews lately. I do appreciate those of you who did review but I will not update until I get at least five reviews.**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

* * *

**I just found out about the unsigned review thing and I'm sorry for not taking it down sooner. I took it down and now everyone can review if they want. I want you too so please review. On with the story!!!**

* * *

Once Buffy was out side she started to look for Chris. Walking away from Angel and Spike was hard and it took all of her will power to do it. She wiped away the tears on that stained her cheeks and stared to walk down the steps and stopped on the sidewalk.

"Buffy!!!" She was almost knocked over as a little ball of energy embraced her leg in a hug. She looked down and saw a little girl dressed in a pair of blue jean capris and a pink t-shirt with a puppy on the pocket. Her short brown hair was in two loose ponytails and she had a pair of white K-Swiss shoes.

Buffy smiled and picked the girl up and healed her on her hip. "Hi Abby. Where's your daddy?"

The little girl smiled and pointed to a car that was parked by the sidewalk under a tree. "Daddy's right there. He said to serpwize you." Buffy smiled at her and ruffled her hair.

She put Abby down and grabbed her hand. "Ready to go?" The burnet girl smiled and nodded and the two started towards the car.

"Buffy, where are you going luv?" Buffy spun around and came face to face with Spike. Buffy picked Abby back up ran her hand threw her hair out of frustration.

"Why won't you leave me alone," Buffy whispered. Abby looked at Buffy sadly and put her tinny hand on Buffy's shoulder and looked angrily at Spike. "Leave Buffy alone."

"It's ok Abby." Buffy said as she ran her free hand threw the little girls hair. "He didn't do anything bad; he's just worried about me." Abby nodded and held onto Buffy tightly. Spike smiled at the little girl's show of affection and how well Buffy was with her.

She turned her attention back to Spike and gave him a light smile. "I'll be ok but right now I just need to clear my head." Se turned to leave but Spike grabbed her hand.

"I can't let you leave, not again. You can't leave Dawn and your friends who bloody love you with their lives behind, you can't leave me. You can't-"

"Stop!!!" Buffy yelled near tears. "Don't stand here and lie to me." She turned around but didn't make a move to go anywhere. "I'm going and no one can stop me." She walked away to the car with Abby on her hip and Spike didn't follow. She put Abby in the back seat, got into the car and they took off.

"I came as soon as I could." Chris said keeping his eyes on the road. Buffy smiled slightly and remained silent. She looked back to check on Abby and saw she was quietly listening to her CD player. For a four year old she took really good care of her things.

Buffy turned around and the car cam to a stop. She looked up at Chris and he sent her a smile. "I need some gas." Buffy nodded smiled as Chris got out of the car.

Chris always understood her and knew she had a reason for everything she did. He never jugged her based on her mistakes and that's the reason she felt like she could trust him with her life. When they were back in L.A he always treated her like his little sister and she looked up to him as her big brother, much like she did Angel. Her smile faded at the thought of his name.

"Do you want anything?" Chris asked her as he pulled out some cash and threw his wallet in the driver's seat. She shook her head and he poked his head inside the window and looked back at his daughter only to find that she was sound asleep.

"I'll be right back." And with that said he was off. Buffy changed the radio station and smiled slightly as one of her favorite songs came on, it started off with a soft humming and the words came in. As the song started Buffy sang a long softly.

**Lost in the darkness, hoping for a sign  
Instead there is only silence,  
Can't you hear my screams...?  
Never stop hoping,  
Need to know where you are  
But one thing is for sure,  
You're always in my heart.**

Tears streamed down her face and she stopped singing as she broke out in uncontrollable sobs.

**I'll find you somewhere  
I'll keep on trying until my dying day  
I just need to know whatever has happened,  
The Truth will free my soul.  
**

Buffy thought about all her friends she would be leaving behind again and how much it would hurt Dawn. She thought about how Spike had begged her to stay and the loving yet pleading look he had shown in his eyes. Her body wrecked with sobs once more and she tried so hard to stop but she couldn't.

She thought about telling Chris she wanted to say but then thought about all the things her mother said last night. She wrapped her arms around herself and contented to cry.

**  
Lost in the darkness, try to find your way home  
I want to embrace you and never let you go  
Almost hope you're in heaven so no one can hurt your soul...  
Living in agony 'cause I just do not know  
Where you are  
**

Chris came out of the station and almost dropped the bottle of soda he had in his hand. He ran over to the car at full speed, not caring about gas at the moment. Chris jerked open the door and pulled Buffy out of the car and embraced her in his arms as they sunk to the ground.

**  
I'll find you somewhere  
I'll keep on trying until my dying day  
I just need to know whatever has happened,  
The Truth will free my soul.  
**

"It's ok. I got you." Buffy nodded and Chris stroked her hair as her sobs died down. People were staring at them but neither of them cared, he was there now and that's all that mattered.

**  
Wherever you are, I won't stop searching.  
Whatever it takes, I need to know.  
**

Spike held Dawn close as she cried on his chest. He just finished telling everyone that Buffy had left and Dawn took it the hardest. She had been crying none stop for the last five minutes so Connor went to get her a glass of water.

"It's ok. Buffy's strong and if she doesn't come back we'll just have to bring her back." Spike said as he stood and let Connor take his set. He whipped her tears way and handed her the glass of water.

"What are you talking about?" Angel asked Spike referring to his statement a moment ago.

Spike rolled his eyes and turned to his friend. "Think peaches, where else could she have gone beside bloody L.A?" Angel nodded. As much as he hated to admit it Spike was right. Buffy was out there and they would bring her back and show her what she meant to all of them.

**  
I'll find you somewhere  
I'll keep on trying until my dying day  
I just need to know whatever has happened,  
The Truth will free my soul.**

**I am so so so sorry about not updating for a while. First I lost the chapter and couldn't find it when I wrote it over again my internet stopped working the day I was going to put it up. Please review and continue to read. I am also sorry for not accepting unsigned reviews; I didn't know that was up. So if you wanted to review but couldn't you can now. I will update as soon as I finish chapter seven. See ya soon.**


	7. Chapter 7

This is not a chapter, I want it to be but it's not. I need you guys to review and tell me what you think should happen next in the story. I guess I have writers block again so I need your help to shrug it off. Tell me what you think should happen next and I'll work from that. Thanks for reading!!!


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Seven

The car cam to a stop and Chris looked over at Buffy's sleeping form. After she stopped crying Buffy told him why she wanted to go back to L.A. She told him what her mother said and how she felt her friends had moved on and would be better with out her.

After she told him that he felt himself fill with rage towards her mother. He knew Joyce was never there for her or Dawn and she made Buffy feel worse after she sent her to live with her father. Hank did the exact thing her mother did: left her along in that big house, never called to see how she was doing, and he never spent any time with her. At least when she was in Sunnydale she had Dawn, here in L.A she had no one, at least until she meet Chris.

As a result Buffy ended up staying over his house most of the time. If she wasn't there she was out on the town. He didn't mind, he preferred her there with him than being left alone in that big empty house or on the dangerous streets.

He sighed and looked back at Abby and a smile graced his lips. He got out of the car and opened Abby's door and took her out of her car seat. "Daddy?" she asked groggily as she opened her eyes. Chris nodded and she smiled and held onto him as he went to wake Buffy up.

"Buffy were here." She stirred but didn't wake up. He shook her again and she moaned. Her eyes opened slowly and she looked over saw Chris with Abby in his arms.

"Are we here?" Abby nodded and Buffy smiled at the four year old. She unhooked her seat belt and slowly stepped out of the car.

"Is mommy home yet?" Abby asked her daddy as the three walked up the stairs. Chris looked at his watch, it read 6:13, and he looked down at Abby and nodded. She smiled, happy that her mother was indeed home.

Chris opened the door and they all stepped in side. Buffy looked around and turned to Chris who was taking off Abby's shoes. "Everything's the same."

Once he got Abby's shoes off she scampered off and up the stairs to her mother's room and Chris walked over to Buffy. "Of cores it's the same, you've only been gone for two days." Buffy smiled and pulled Chris into a hug.

He was taken aback because he was caught off guard but he returned it. "Thanks," was all she muttered. Chris smiled and stroked her hair. "Don't mention it."

"You haven't been in this house for five minutes and you're already trying to take my husband." Buffy smiled and let go of Chris and tuned and look at the girl who was standing at the bottom of the stairs with Abby at her side.

"I missed you too Faith." The brunette smiled and walked over too the blond and hugged her. "Can't… breath" Buffy choked out. Faith let her go and gave her a light smile.

"Sorry. Your room is the same but we might need to go shopping because you took almost all your cloths with you." Chris rolled his eyes and walked over to the girls.

"Why is everything always about shopping?" Faith and Buffy laughed and Abby looked at them oddly and attached herself to Faiths leg. She looked down at her little girl and smiled.

"I'm hungry." Abby said.

"Ok, let's go make dinner. Wanna help?" Faith asked as she kneeled beside her and ran her hands through her daughter's hair. Abby nodded and Faith grabbed her hand and stood.

"I'll help too." Buffy said as she followed behind the two. Chris just watched as they made there way into the kitchen and smiled. 'Nap time' he thought as he plopped onto the sofa and closed his eyes.

After dinner Faith and Chris put Abby to bed and decided to go to be early since they had a long day. Buffy understood and decided to turn in herself; she climbed the stirs and made her way up to the room she left behind.

She opened the door and turned on the light. It spread and lit the whole room up; it was just the way she left it. Buffy smiled and close the door, and took off her shoes and let her bear feet meet the fluffy black carpet. Buffy walked over to her bed and climb in, she brought her knees up to her chin and looked around.

Her room was pretty simple, she had a queen sized bed, a desk with a computer and printer on it, and a dressed filled with tons of pictures of her friends and little sister. The bed was in the middle of the room and the desk was a good couple of feet to the left, the walk in closet held all of her cloths so she had no need for a dresser.

She closed her eyes in frustration and tried to get rid of all the thoughts flowing through her head. She did lover her friends and sister but she felt they could do better with out her, wasn't that what her mother had said?

She sighed in frustration and walked across the room to turn off the light, it left the room in darkness. She got into her bed and laid down. 'I'll think about this in the morning' Whit that thought she closed her heavy eyes and drifted off to sleep.

* * *

"Dawn wake up." A voice called out. 'Who is that?' Dawn thought. 'Why do they sound so far away?' She slowly opened her eyes and they were meet with Angel's dark brow ones.

"What are you doing in my room?" Angel chuckled and put his hand on her forehead.

"Do you remember anything about last night?" Dawn shook her head and a small frown played on his face.

"After school all you guys came over my house and Spike told us what happened when he talked to Buffy." Her face fell at the mention of her sister's name and Angel continued when she gave him a nod.

"So after that you broke down into tears and you wouldn't stop crying and calling for Buffy. Spike and Connor grabbed you and tried to calm you down, after that they took you to the guest room you usually sleep in and you cried yourself to sleep."

"Oh" was all the young girl said as Angel finished his story. She looked down at the bed she was in and a tear fell onto the white sheets.

"Don't cry Dawnie. Your sister will be back soon. She loves you and wouldn't leave you forever." Dawn broke out into sobs and Angel sat on the bed beside her.

"I'm an orphan now!!! I don't have a dad or a mom, and now Buffy's gone!!! She left me with her again, and this time for good. Why did she leave? She promised she wouldn't!!!"

Connor ran in the room and his heart broke at the site before him Angel was hugging Dawn while tears streamed down her face, he whispered sweet words in her ear but they didn't seem to be working because the tears didn't stop. Instead they multiplied and her body shook.

He put a hand on his brother's shoulder and Angel looked up at him. He let Dawn go and Connor took his place as the two returned to the same position they were in hours earlier. Angle closed the door on his way out and went to his room. He was going to have to call the school and tell them that nether Connor, Dawn or himself would be going to school today.

"What do you want?" Angel asked from his bed knowing Spike was standing in his door way without even looking up. He sighed and sat down in the chair at Angel's desk.

"I called the school and told them that Buffy was really sick so we would be staying with her for a while. Willow is gonna get Oz to swing by here after school so Xander and Anya will probably come too. Red has all the work that we missed so no complaints from you."

"You've been really busy." Spike smirked and nodded. The two of them were really good in a crisis. They dealt with them when they were younger but Buffy was usually by there side, this time the she was the one in trouble.

They sat in silence for a while until Connor came rushing in the room. "It's Buffy" he said still trying to catch his breath. The two older boys looked at each other and then at Connor.

"What do you mean it's Buffy?" Angel asked.

"She called Dawn and she's talking to her right now." The three boys rushed out of the room and down the hallway to the guest room.

"What do you mean you might not come back? You said you would never leave me. Are you just gonna break your promises?" They heard Dawn ask as they came running into the room.

"What did she say?" Spike asked He wanted- no needed to talk to her. All there lives they had been best friends and that was too long in his book to go without telling her how he felt about her. He loved her and he wanted to tell her. That is as soon as she got back, he wanted the moment he told her to be as wonderful as she was.

"Yeah? Ok, I will. Really" The boys could only imagine what the two sisters were talking about. They could only here what Dawn was saying and that wasn't a whole lot.

"Bye" Dawn said as she hung up the phone. She smiled and tuned and faced the totally shocked boys. "What?" she asked not quiet understanding why they were all looking at her like that? She rubbed her cheek to make sure nothing was on it and shook her head.

"You just hung up the phone."

"Yeah, so?" Dawn asked as she nodded her head slowly.

Spike hit his head and ran his hands thought his hair. "Niblet, I think what peaches is trying to say is we didn't get to talk to Buffy."

"Oh, I know. Buffy said not to tell you anything just to let you know everything was ok and that she would talk to each of us later." Dawn said smiling. Wait, was she smiling? Wasn't she just crying her eyes out? What ever was said between the two sisters must have been something good to make Dawn change her whole attitude that quickly.

"Ok…." Angel said at a loss of words. They spent almost all night trying to find a way to help Dawn and bring Buffy home, now it looked like Dawn was ok and Buffy would be coming home, or at least soon.

"I guess we should all go to school now." Connor and Dawn gave him death glares and Spike smirked. "He's right, you're ok so you get to go to school. It's what Buffy would have wanted." Dawn sent the bleached blond a smile and the boys left her to get dressed and ready.

Dawn sighed and looked around the guest room. She was so happy that her sister was ok and that she would be coming home in about a week. Buffy told her to be strong and that she loved her and none of what happened was her fault. Dawn believed her and did as she was told.

She walked over to the closet and saw that there were no cloths in it. She smacked her forehead. 'That's right; whenever I come over and sleep here and bring a bag of stuff to unpack. Last time I was here I took everything home.' She thought angrily.

"Connor!!!"

* * *

"Buffy?" Faith called as she walked to the girl's room. Buffy opened her door and walked out into the hallway.

"Yeah?" Faith smiled and took the younger girls hand. "I haven't seen you in two days, we have to catch up." Buffy smiled a small smile and let Faith lead her to an unknown destination.

Buffy had always admired Faith. The older girl had a haunted past and right now she had a good life with her daughter and Chris. When she was a freshman in high school she met Chris who was a sophomore at the time. They fell in love like most people do, but falling was the easy part staying together was the challenge.

Faith's mother never carried about her and her father walked out on them the year she stared high school, to keep it simple she had a lot of baggage to carry and when she met Chris and it was hard for her to open up to him. They made it through everything life had thrown at them but they never expected what life would give them next.

After about a month or two the two teens found out that they were expecting a child. Naturally Faith freaked out and tried to hide it from Chris. She told him a while later and he accepted the fact and took full responsibly of his actions. He convinced her to tell her mother but things didn't go so well and she kicked her out of the house. Chris, coming from a wealthy family, told his parents and they took Faith and their unborn grand child in.

They lived there for about a year until Chris's dad told him once he finish collage he would work for him in the family business. His parents got they a little house that was fully paid for once Abby was about one. The two still went to school while Chris's parents watched her while her parents were at school.

During Faith fourth year she meet Buffy and the two quickly became the best of friends despite the other girl's repartition. Abby was three then and Faith felt like she could tell Buffy anything so she told her about her daughter. She introduced her to Chris then Buffy meet Abby, who she also became fast friends with. Buffy loved Faith like a sister and was sad to lose her when she went off to collage the next year. They kept in touch and Buffy spent most of her time at her house anyway.

"Buffy did you hear what I said, were here." Faith waved her hand in front of Buffy's face and Buffy blinked and looked up at Faith.

"Oh, where is here?" Faith rolled her eyes and pointed out the car window. Buffy looked out the window and realized that they were at the park. "Wait, how did I get her without realizing it?" Faith chuckled and opened the car door Buffy followed suite and closed the door behind her and stared towards the swings.

"If you can't remember how you got here you are in desperate need of being here." Buffy cocked her head to the side and looked at her friend strangely.

"What does that even mean?" Faith smiled and stared to swing her legs. Buffy did so as well and they fell into silence.

"It means you should be here because you're meant too." Faith swung higher and Buffy tried to keep up. "Why are you back her, I love you and all but you were so happy about going home. I just didn't see you coming to visit anytime soon"

Buffy looked at the sky and tried to think of how to put what happened into the right words. Every time she told anyone what happened she put it in a different way so they would understand. "My mom…said some pretty mean things." Faith watched her as the wind blew through her hair as she swung.

"I never really realized how much I wanted us to be a family until that night. She told me off and all I wanted to do was tell her how it was for me, how hard it was for me growing up without her and dad. So I did." Faith had stopped swinging as she now watched a slowly swing Buffy with her head downcast.

"You don't have to finish if it's too hard for you."

"No, I have to. I need to tell someone because it needs to be said." Faith nodded and Buffy took a deep breath as she prepared herself to tell Faith what she's never told anyone before.

* * *

"Dawn lets go, we already missed all of first period. If we leave now we'll only miss half of second." Angel shook his head as he stood at the front door waiting on Dawn and Connor. Connor was ready and his things were in the car, but Dawn had hauled him back up stairs so he cloud help her pick out some of his cloths that weren't so baggy on her.

"Ok, I'm here. How do I look?" She gave a twirl when she got to the bottom of the stairs and Angel looked her over. She had on a black hoodie with a pair a slightly baggy jeans, on her feet were the pair of all star chucks she wore over.

"So?" Angel nodded. "If it'll get you out of the house it's good." Connor smirked from behind her and snaked his arm around her waist. She let out a squeak of surprise but smiled and kissed him on the cheek.

"Don't listen to him you look hot. You should were my cloths more often." He bit her ear and Dawn let out a whimper.

"Will you two get in the car?" Dawn laughed and they walked over to the car a hopped in the back.

"Dawn what exactly did Buffy say to you to make you so happy." Dawn smiled and put her head on Connor's chest. Angel got in the car, closed the door and took off.

"She told me she would never leave me and that as long as she loves us that will bring her back. She told me not to worry and to make sure you don't go crazy while she's gone." Spike smiled and looked back at Dawn. She sent him a smile and cuddled into her boyfriend's chest.

Buffy was definitely coming home.

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews and for all of your help. The end is coming soon so keep reading and keep the reviews coming. The more I get the faster I update. I really hope you guys like this and I want to thank you for sticking with me though my first fan fic. If you like this story you could read my other one: Much Like Falling. If you do read it don't forget to review, lol.**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Eight

Joyce Summers was nuts, she had completely lost it. The school had called and told her that Buffy wasn't at school and that Dawn came in late. When school got out she raced down to the school to find her younger daughter and the whereabouts about her eldest.

"Dawn get in the car, now!" Dawn shook her head and held onto Connor as her mother glared daggers in her direction. Cordy, Willow, Oz, Xander and Anya watched in horror as their three friends tried to calm down the enraged mother. They had all been walking to their cars getting ready to go back to Angel's when Joyce pulled up and demanded that Dawn get in the car and tell her where Buffy was. She refused many times but Joyce didn't look like she was going to give up anytime soon.

"Spike, Angel you won't let her take me away will you?" Joyce rolled her eyes and took several steeps closer to the teens.

"You are my daughter and if you leave with them I will call the police and report them for kidnapping." She walked up to them and grabbed Dawn out of Connors grasps and shoved her into the back seat. "Stay way from my daughters."

"Spike!!!" Dawn yelled from the back seat. Joyce quickly got in the drivers seat but Spike wasn't far behind. He opened the door and jumped inside the passenger's seat as Joyce took off at full speed.

"Let's follow them" Angel said as he stared to run to the car. They followed after him hopping that they could get there in time.

"Get out of my car!!!" Joyce yelled as she swerved and dogged a car. Spike hit the window and quickly looked back at Dawn who was trying to put on her seat belt.

"Spike, what's wrong with her?"

Spike didn't quite know the answer to that at the moment but he didn't want to worry Dawn. "Nothing niblet, your mom is just fine."

"Spike this is not the time to try to protect me from the truth, this is a time when you have to protect me from my crazy psycho mother." Dawn hit her head on the window as her mother made another sharp turn. Spike looked at Joyce and saw a look of range on her face, if he took the wheel from her they would crash, if he didn't take the wheel from her she would probably crash the car herself, he didn't see a lot of options so he went on instinct.

"Ms. Summers you need to stop the car."

"Like hell!!!" She sped up, something the two teens thought was impossible, and got on the highway.

"Mom what the hell is wrong with you!?"

"What's wrong with me my ungrateful daughter asks? I'll tell you, I work my but off for you and Buffy and you don't appreciate anything that I do for you." She looked back at Dawn and she saw the anger, hurt, and emotion in her mother's eyes.

"Mom we do-"

"Watch out!!!" Spike yelled as a car came straight for them. Joyce swerved and got out of the way but more cars kept coming.

"Were on the wrong side!!!" Dawn yelled as cars wized past them. A huge truck came straight for them but luckily Joyce got out of the way just in time. She made a sharp turn and the car went over the railing.

* * *

Buffy sighed as she closed the door to Abby's room. She had just gotten the four year old to sleep after running around the house and giving in to all her crazy demands for about three hours and she was really tired. 

Booth Faith and Chris were off at school and she volunteered to watch Abby for the rest of the day. She reached her room and opened the door and flopped down on her bed.

She stared up at the ceiling as she had done many time before and let the memories of her time with Faith fill her head.

Flashback

"_So B, what is this big secret that you never told a living soul?" Buffy rolled her eyes and looked over at her smirking friend._

"_You make it sound like it's so big. It's not so don't go thinking that."_

"_You're so silly, get on with already."_

_Buffy stuck her tong out at the older girl and started on with her short story._

"_It's no big deal I just sometimes think that my parent will get back together one day and things will go back to when I was younger and they actually cared about me and Dawn." He eyes brightened as she said her younger sister's name._

"_I know that it's kinda dumb of me to think but when me and my parents fight cling to that little memory of when we were happy and that sometimes keeps me going. Other times I hate them for making me grow up so fast and loose the good times of my childhood and being a parent to Dawn. Then I hate myself for hating making it sound like Dawn is like a job to me and then I'm back to square one."_

_After a long time silence Faith spoke. "Nothing is wrong with you and the way you talk about your sister I know she loves you," Buffy looked over at her and saw the tiny smile forming on her face and gave her a questioning look._

"_Besides, you've told me so much about Spike it feels like I know him. He probably makes all of that stuff seem silly, right? That's how Chris made me feel when we were back in high school." Buffy turned away and blushed and Faith's tiny smile turned into a full out grin._

"_You love him right?" Buffy's blush grew brighter and she shook her head. _

"_Faith, we were talking about my family issues and now were talking about Spike. How did this happen?"_

"_This relates to our conversation in a very relevant way." Buffy raised an eyebrow and Faith thought of her answer before speaking._

"_You told me how you almost didn't come here because of him and if his words may have had that much of an influence over you then maybe the one you should be talking to is him." Faith looked at her watch and got up off the swing. She gave Buffy a light smile and stared to walk back to the car._

_End Flashback_

'Maybe I do need to talk to Spike.' She looked at the watch on her wrist and saw that school was already out. She reached out to grabbed her cell phone but found the spot where she left it empty. Buffy looked under her pillows and cover and finally came to the decision that it must have rung and fallen to the floor. She threw herself off her bed, kneeled on her floor and lifted the covers that spilled onto her floor.

She reached her hand under the bed and found what she was looking for.

"Got it." She flipped it open and was surprised to find she had twenty missed calls and ten voice messages. She quickly pressed ignore and went straight to her voice mail, she punched in her code and listened to the voice on her machine

"Buffy you need to come home right now!!! Your mother was in a really bad accident and Spike and Dawn were in the car too. Come home and call me as soon as you get this"

Buffy sat shocked and the others paled one after another. She felt numb and empty inside. She rushed to the bathroom and threw up her breakfast and lunch into the toilet. When she was done she cleaned herself up and grabbed the phone.

"Faith, I need to take a cab and I needed to take Abby with me."

-Later-

Buffy packed Abby a bag of things she might need and ran up the stairs to get the girl in question. She quickly opened the door and flipped on the light; she grabbed the little girl's shoes off the floor and shook her awake.

"Buffy?" She smiled as best as she could and nodded. "Abby we have to go right now, I need to take you with me but your mommy and daddy are going to come and get you as soon as possible. Can you be a good girl for me while we go off?" The four year old nodded and Buffy plucked her from her bed and ran out the door.

Two hours later she arrived at the hospital and her friends quickly pointed her to a doctor and he filled her in on what was happening.

* * *

Buffy had never felt such an enormous amount of pain in her life. She looked at the doctor in front of her and tried to make out what he was saying as his words fell upon her deaf ears. Her legs felt week and her eyes got heavy, she fell to the floor with one word escaping her lips, "Spike." 

"Buffy!" Her friends surrounded her and Angel grabbed her and held her bridal style and glared up at the doctor.

"Is she ok?" he asked the doctor demandingly. The older man nodded and put a hand to her forehead. "The news about her mother and the young man must have pushed her over the edge, she has only passed out but she may be out for a while."

"What did you tell her?" Cordy asked from her boyfriend's side.

"I'm afraid that they both fell into a comma."

* * *

"Buffy wake up, please!" Buffy sat up abruptly and came face to face with her sister. She pulled her into a hug and cried into her shoulder. 

"Dawn, I was so worried about you."

"I'm fine I just got a slight concussion and a broken arm." Buffy let go and saw that what her younger sister said was true. Her right arm was in a cast and hanging from a sling hooked around her neck, a bandage was wrapped around her head and she had on a hospital gown. That's when Buffy realized that she was lying in a hospital bed along with her sister.

"Umm, how exactly did I get here?" Dawn smiled slightly and pointed to sleeping Angel in the chair next to the bed. "You fainted and the doctor thought you might be out for a while so he convinced them to let you stay in here with me."

The memories of what happened came crashing down on her and she almost broke down into tears as she thought about it.

"Buffy, what's wrong?"

"They didn't tell you." Dawn shook her head and Buffy sighed. This was just like the time she had to tell her that her mother and father were getting a divorce. She swallowed her fear and looked her sister in the eye.

"Mom and Spike….are in…a comma" Dawn gasped and shook her head. Buffy nodded and Dawn broke out into tears.

"I'm sorry to interrupt but the kid you brought with you has been calling for you ever since we brought you in here. Sorry if I seem a little rude but I was under orders to tell you that as soon as you woke up." Buffy and Dawn looked over and saw the now awake Angel. He sent Buffy a slight smile and she returned it

"Where is she? If something happenings to her Chris and Faith will kill me." Buffy slowly got up off the bed and stood. Dawn looked up at her and Buffy and looked over at Angel for an answer.

"Cordy was taking care of her but-"

"You let Cordy-Cordelia Chase watch a four year old? She hates kids, when we were little all the younger kids would run from her." Dawn laughed remembering how very true her sister's words were.

"It's true. Before we meet you Cordy was mean…. well meaner than she is now."

"But she still doesn't know how to deal with a four year old so I gotta go." She calmly made her way out the door and Dawn and Angel stared after her.

"Oh and don't forget," Buffy said as she popped her head back into the room. Dawn all most fell off the bed from surprise but Angel caught her, "don't leave until I come back, both of you." She sent Angel a pleading look and he sent her a smile.

"Buffy could you tell Connor that I'm ok?" Buffy nodded and headed out the door and down the hall to Abby's rescue. It felt kinda good to be back home.

* * *

"Listen here little girl, Buffy is knocked out right now so we are watching you." Abby looked up at the older girl with a hint of mischief in her eyes. Cordy stood there triumph as Abby kept her mouth shut about wanting Buffy and her mother and father. 

"You are a MEAN LADY!!! I'm telling my mommy!!!" She brought her foot down on Cord's very expensive Italian imported boot and the older girl let out a howl of pain.

Abby ran over to the red head and jumped into her waiting arms. Anya and Xander watched in amusement as Cordy tried her hardest not to curse in front of the child that was making her want to curse. Life was a bag full of irony.

"I really think you need to be gentler with her" Willow said as she put the small child on her lap. Oz smiled as his girlfriend told Abby that it wasn't nice to hurt people and that she should apologize right away.

"Sorry" Abby said with a pout.

"Whatever" Abby such her tong out at her and Cordy lunged in her direction.

"Cordelia, whatever you were about to do stop and don't do it." She stopped in her tracks and turned around at the sound of the voice.

"Buffy?" She nodded and Abby ran to the older blond girl. "She is really mean" Abby said as she hugged Buffy's leg once again.

"I know." Buffy giggled and picked her up and held her on her hip. "How about you stay with Willow and Oz for a little while longer so I can go check up on my mom and Spike?" Abby's face lost its smiles at Buffy's words.

"Do you have to leave?"

"Yeah, my mom was hurt and so was my really good friend Spike, my sister got hurt too but she's doing much better now." She sent Connor a smile and he awkwardly returned it.

"Ok aunt Buffy."

"Good girl, but do me a favor and steer clear of Cordy and Anya." She pointed to the two girls as she spoke their names and Abby nodded in understanding.

"Hey, I'm really good with kids" Anya said defending herself. Willow and Xander held back their laughs while Anya just glared at the pair.

Abby scampered off to Willow once more and Buffy turned to leave but Connor called out to her. "Do you think I can see Dawn now?"

Buffy turned around and looked Connor in the eyes. Before she had left she was kinda clod towards him, she had never felt this much tension between herself and her friends. It was just something they were going to have to work out along the way. "I'm pretty sure she'd be happy to see you. Your brothers a pain if you hang around him for too long."

Connor got to his feet and stood beside Buffy, she put her arm around his shoulder and they started on their way.

* * *

"Are you sure it's ok I can see her now." Buffy asked as she stood outside of her mother's hospital room. She was pretty nervous about seeing her mother in the state she was in, but the doctors told her it always did coma patients well when loved ones talked to them. 

The doctor walked down the hallway and Buffy entered the bright white room. She looked at her mother lying helplessly in the bed before her and she almost cried.

Joyce had cuts and bruises all along her face, arms, and head; a tube was place in her mouth to help her breath and she was also hooked up to a slowly beeping monitor, the only sing that she was really alive. She was deadly pale and there was no sign of movement what so ever.

"Mom," she said as she walked closer to her mother's seemingly lifeless form. Buffy kneeled on the side of the bed and rested her hands on her mother's.

"I know we've had our differences but that doesn't mean I want you to die." A single tear slid down her cheek and Buffy made no move to wipe it away. "I may be made that you kinda caused this but I didn't mean for this to happen." More tears followed the lone one and Buffy let her hair cover her eyes.

"I love you and hope you pull through this." She got to her feet and whipped away the tears that covered her face and collected herself. She walked out the door and down the hallway to see if Spike's condition was worse than the one her mother was in.

* * *

"Are you ok?" Connor asked for about the millionth time in the past ten minutes. Dawn rolled her eyes and snuggled into his arms. 

"I'm fine, but I would be even better if you would stop asking me that."

"Sorry. I won't ask you again." Angel looked at the young teens and they snuggled and kissed and he almost gagged.

"Will you two get a room?"

Connor broke out of the current kiss that he and Dawn were currently in and glared at his older brother. "We have a room but you just happen to be in it."

Angel rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to the T.V and the room grew silent.

A loud beeping sound was heard all around the hospital and all there teen shared a look. Doctors and nursed rushed down the hallway and past the door and the three grew more panicked. A minute passed and a nurse came to the threshold of the door.

"Dawn Summers, I'm afraid it's your mother."

-

-

-

-

Sorry about the long wait for the next chapter. I've been really busy babysitting my play sisters little girl and she is more than a handful. I'll try my best to put up a new chapter really really soon so stick with me. Thanks for all the reviews and the ideas but I have to thank Broke Soul for the idea of the car crash, review and tell me what you want to happen. I might just put it in the story and make it happen. Thanks again and don't forget to review.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Nine

-

-

-

-

**I am still alive!!!! I plan on finishing this story and I will. Here's chapter nine, I know it's shorter than the others but I will update sometime this week. I hope you enjoy and continue to read and review.**

**-**

**-**

**-**

**-**

"I can't tell you how sorry I am." Buffy said to the woman in front of her. The woman shook her head and pulled Buffy into a loving embrace.

"None of this is your fault, you have just as much to deal with as I do. I don't blame you." Buffy cried on her shoulder as the words she needed to here the most escaped her lips. She pulled back and looked into the woman's blue eyes, they reminded her so much of Spike.

"William will wake up; you have to have faith in that." Buffy nodded and Anne took her hands in hers. "I'll give you some time alone with him, ok?" She let go and walked away without hearing Buffy's response.

Buffy walked slowly into the room and stared at the boy she had known as long as she could remember. They grew up together, they got in trouble together, and they were always there when the other needed them.

"Spike…," she said softly as she kneeled by his bed side. She took his hand in hers and tried to avoid the IV that was sticking out of it. "I know your mother said it wasn't my fault and I know that if you could speak right know you would say the same thing." Tears ran down her cheeks and fell to there joined hands. "This is all my fault and I will do every thing in my power to make sure you wake up, you mean the world to me and I just want you to know that I lo-"

"Buffy!"

She turned around, Spike's hand still in hers, and saw a tired looking Angel standing in the threshold of the door. She gave him a questioning look and he tried to catch his breath before he spoke.

"Your mother is awake and she's asking for you, Dawn is already with her but the doctors say she doesn't have long to live."

* * *

"Mommy!" Abby yelled as she jumped out of Willow's lap and ran to her mother as she came thought the hospital doors. Faith ran over to her daughter and she jumped into her mothers awaiting arms.

"Hi baby, are you ok?" Abby nodded but pointed in Cordy's direction. "That lady was mean to me and she called me a brat." Faith glared at her and Cordelia just looked away. Before Faith could give Cordy an ear full Chris walked in.

"Hi daddy." Abby reached out for him and Faith handed her over to her father.

"So where's Buffy?" They all looked at her like she had grown two heads and Faith took a step back so she was next to Chris.

"It looks like Buffy's doesn't talk about her life in L.A that much." Fait h nodded n agreement.

* * *

Dawn walked out of her mother's hospital room and she threw herself into her sister's arms as soon as her eyes caught sight of her. Buffy hugged her back and pulled apart as she heard her mothers soft voice call for her.

"Go." Dawn said simply. Angel, Conner and Dawn watched her go in and close the door behind her, shutting them off from what was to come.

"Mom?" Joyce smiled slightly and Buffy thought it looked odd on her face. It wasn't forced or fake like the ones she'd seen before, it was real and she hadn't seen one like that since she was a child.

"Buffy, I'm dieing and there is nothing anyone can to make it better. You are going to have to take car of Dawn and be the mother you always were to her. She's gonna look up to you even more than she does now so you will have to make the right choices so she can learn from you even more."

Buffy shook her head and remained halfway across the room. "Mom, don't talk like this. You're gonna get thought this, I know we've had some hard times and we didn't always get along but I always loved you. You're my mother, how can I not?"

Joyce looked touched at her daughter's words and she really wanted to believe that they were true. The truth was that even if she made it she would probably spend most of the rest of her life in jail, she was driving under the influence and she endangered her daughter and someone else's child in the process.

"You and Dawn will be well taken car of, you have plenty of money and you will have full access of it once you're eighteen." She coughed harshly and Buffy ran over to her.

"Are you ok?" Joyce nodded even though she was still coughing and Buffy put her hand on her mothers head. She took it away quickly as her cool skin met her mothers burning head.

"You're burning up." Joyce knocked away her hand and Buffy looked at her shocked.

"It's ok, I'm ready for this." Buffy felt pain as those words let her mother's mouth but she could bring herself to cry. She took a step back and looked around the room in confusion. Her mother was dieing, Spike was in a comma, and he could suffer the same faith as her. She was feeling so much she felt like she would explode. And she did.

"How can you tell me something like that!!? How can you just lay there and not want to fight to live, if you try you can, I know you can. You're the strongest person I know and I know you don't give up, how can you give up now when it counts more than ever?"

* * *

"Dawn come back and talk to me." Dawn walked down the hall in her newly changed cloths and said nothing as Connor called after her to stop.

"You need to sit down and rest. If you keep walking around like this then your wounds will open up again."

That brought her to a stop and she looked down at her bare legs and her one bare arm. They were covered in cuts, some were big and others were small, the doctors said that they weren't deep enough to leave any scars but that she should take it easy so they would bleed. She had on a tank top and short so they could breathe and she was freezing as a result.

Connor put a hand on her shoulder and she flinched at his touch. Connor remover his hand, a little hurt by the gustier, and took a step back. Dawn turned around and he gave her a week smile.

"I'll give you some time to sort out your problems on your own, I just thought you would want me there to help you through this but I guess I was wrong. I'll be in the waiting room with the others if you need me."

"Connor, wait."

Connor was already half way down the hall and Dawn knew he couldn't hear her. Even if he could she didn't think he would turn around.

She sank to the floor and put her back up against the nearest wall. Her legs were no the cold floor as she buried her face in her hands and cried her eyes out. "How come this had to happen?"

* * *

"Who is this?" Angel asked as his eyes locked with Chris's.

"That is Abby's father, Buffy friend, and Faith husband." Anya said. Angel look at her even more confused than when he asked her the question.

"That's Chris." Oz said simply. Angel stalked over to the older man and punched him in the face. Gasps and yells were heard from various people but Angel paid no mind to them. He took a couple of stepped closer to the fallen mans body and Chris glared up at him

"You caused all of this. If you hadn't of take Buffy away then none of this would have happened." Chris jumped to his feet, hell in his eyes and a dangerous glare set on his face.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Chris yelled.

"You know damn well what I'm talking about. I'm talking about you waltzing into Buffy's life and making her think you have all the answers then whisking her off to L.A You took her away from her friends and family and we could have helped her" Angel was about to take another swing at Chris but a tap on his shoulder stopped him.

He tuned around a cam face to face with a pissed off Fait. She slapped him, hard, across the face and the sound echoed off the walls.

"How dare you hit him, you don't even know what happened and your making accusations."

She raised her hand to slap him again but Angel caught her hand before it made contact with his already throbbing cheek.

"Angel!" Cordy yelled as she found her voice. She had never seen him that angry before and she didn't a lot of crazy stuff that could make him that way.

Angel let go of Faith's hand and walked out the door. Cordy ran after him and the other people that were in the waiting room were left in shocked.

"Well this sure has been a crazy day." Xander said. Willow and Any nodded in agreement and Oz just gave them a knowing smile.

* * *

"Angel what the hell is wrong with you." Cordy throws herself into his arms and Angel rubs her back for comfort. She looks up at him and he gives her a small smile.

"I don't quite know the answer to that yet." He chuckles and Cordy hits his chest lightly.

"How the fuck could you do that? Buffy and he are friends, and that little girl is his daughter. On top of all that you u don't even know him!!! What the hell were you thinking?"

To say Angle was shocked would be the understatement of the year. He had never head Cordelia talk like this before and it made him fell really bad about what he did. He gently grabbed her hand and she jerked way and placed it on his cheek.

He filched and Cordy quickly pulled her hand away. "Does it sting?' He nodded. "Good."

-

-

-

-

**Ok, I'm so sorry that I haven't updated in a while but I have to get stuff together around here before I go back to school. I'll try to put up another chapter sometime this week and feel free to review and yell at me. There will probably be either one or two more chapters for this story and then it will be finished!!!**

**REVIEW!!!**

**REVIEW!!!**

**REVIEW!!!**


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Ten

Chapter Ten

"Buffy?" Faith asked waking over to her silent friend. The blond looked up from her little sister in her lap and met Faith's eyes. From the dazed look in her eyes Faith could tell Buffy had been in deep thought.

"Chris and I will stay with you as long as you need and we'll take care of everything if you just tell us what needs to be done." All Buffy did was blink as she stared blankly ahead. No emotion what so ever shown in her eyes now.

"Buffy…?"

"Do you know I called him…?" Buffy said hoarsely. Her voice was like that from all the screaming and crying she'd done earlier.

When she found out what Angel had done she just snapped on him. He wasn't mad and he knew he deserved it so he just decided to leave, Cordy following along with Connor as well. He kissed her atop of the head and told her he would be back tomorrow.

After they left she just broke down and Dawn did as well. It took all of Willow and Xander to keep the two of them together, Chris and Faith standing off to the side trying to explain to their daughter that Buffy was going to be alright as tears streaked her four year old face.

After Dawn had calmed down some she curled up in Buffy's lap and eventually fell asleep. Buffy had been in thought ever since and Faith wanted talk to her very badly, but Chris decided against it.

After about an hour of waiting she couldn't take it anymore and went over to her distressed friend. Now that she was there she felt even worse since she couldn't seem to bring her any source of comfort. She had no idea what Buffy was talking about and it didn't look like she was going to expand on her statement anytime soon.

Faith went and sat beside Buffy and put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Called who Buffy?"

Buffy turned her head slowly so she was facing Faith, the blank look she received was killing her inside and she whished there was a way she could help her friend thought what she was going thought. A way she could take some of the hurt, pain and responsibility away and carry it for her.

"I called my father and he said there is no way he can be back here to help me with anything. He's halfway across the world in God knows what country and he's not coming back for about three or four months. Apparently now that I'm not there he can stay out way longer and focus on more important things, hell it wasn't like he was there to begin with."

"Buffy I'm so sorry. Your dad's an ass; you already knew that but…" Faith trailed off not liking the spark that flashed in Buffy's eyes.

"I knew he was an ass but he's still my father!" Faith removed her hand from her shoulder and Buffy's green orbs softened. "I thought he would care about us more that he does. I mean… my mom is dying."

Faith didn't know what to say and she was so glad that she didn't have to say anything because Chris appeared at her side. Abby was tightly wrapped in his arms, her head was cradled against his chest and she was taking soft even breaths.

"I need to talk to her," Chris said simply. Faith merely nodded, in too much shock and pain to say anything. She took her sleeping daughter from her husband's arms and numbly walked away.

"Buffy are you ok?" Chris asked. Buffy nodded and allowed Chris to wrap his arms around her in a tight hug. He was much bigger than she was so he engulfed her whole form.

"I'm sorry about Angel, he gets that way when he's upset."

Chris smiled knowing that he was the only one she would talk normally too. She felt responsible for his swollen cheek so she couldn't dare to harm him by not speaking to him, it would just be too much.

"You and Faith should take Abby and go home. I don't want you guys pulled into my problems. I should have never called you and asked you to come and get me; maybe if I hadn't none of this would have happened."

Chris looked down at her then let his eye roam over Dawn's sleeping form. "Maybe," he said looking up from Dawn and staring Buffy in the eyes, "or maybe this would have happened anyway just a little differently. We'll never know but you have a job to do and I hate to put this responsibility onto you but you need to take care of things."

"That's all I've been doing my whole life Chris!" Buffy yelled causing Dawn to squirm around a little. "Since I was about eight I've been taking care of Dawn and myself," Buffy said in a hushed tone so not to wake Dawn. The younger Summers really needed the rest.

"That only means that you're no stranger to taking charge and fixing things. Your mothers going to be gone," Chris said a little hesitantly, "so your sister's going to need you now more than ever."

Buffy froze at his words and thought back to what her mom told her.

"_You are going to have to take care of Dawn and be the mother you always were to her. She's going to look up to you even more than she does now so you will have to make the right choices so she can learn from you even more."_

"You guys are right, Dawn needs me and I have to make the right choices. The first step to making the right choices is asking for help when you need it, so Chris… will you help me?"

Chris gave her a one armed hug and nodded. Buffy smiled up at him and sighed in accomplishment. She was finally starting to feel like she was getting somewhere.

* * *

A week had passed and with it went Joyce Summers. Buffy and Dawn were devastated and their friends were there for them as much as they could be, Dawn was taking the loss of her mother the hardest but that was to be expected. Spike was still in a comma and the doctors said that if he survived the next week he would be in the clear but they couldn't say for sure if he would wake up or not. For now they could only hope and pray that everything would work out.

"Buffy?" Angel asked as he entered Spikes hospital room. Buffy looked up from the book in her lap and gave Angel a weak smile.

"Hey, how ya doing?" she asked. She stopped writing and put her journal on the bedside table.

"I should be asking you that." He walked over to the other side of the room and Buffy got to her feet, Angel held her in a comforting embrace and Buffy rested her head on his chest.

"I'm better, Dawn's still the same but the doctors say that she should get better," Buffy muttered into Angeles chest. The two didn't break apart, Buffy being in need of comfort and Angel being in need to give it to her. She had been thought so much in the past week and they all wanted to take as much pain away as they could.

Dawn had been clinging to Buffy for dear life the day that she found out that her mother had died. Buffy thought it was just because she was in shock and that she needed comforting but for the past week Buffy couldn't leave Dawn's eye sight with out her freaking out and having a panic attack.

The first one had been a small one and it nearly scared Buffy to death, since then Buffy's made sure to keep Dawn at her side at all times.

The blond spared a glance at her sister asleep in the not so comfortable chair and let out a heavy sigh.

"We're doing ok but Dawn could be a whole lot better." She looked up at Angel and then back over at her sister. "I'm really worried about her Angel, in addition to the panic attacks she's totally stopped talking to everyone but me. She hardly ever sleeps and when she does I sometimes hear her calling out for mom… and it just breaks my heart" Buffy sobbed into Angel's chest and he held her small form even close than before closer.

"Why is life so hard? I just wanted to be happy and I went and made things worse." Buffy clung to Angel's chest and he looked down at her with worried eyes.

Angel had never seen Buffy cry as much as she had in the past week. Not that it wasn't expected for both Summer girls, but Buffy had always been the strong one, seeing her in the state she was in now was terrifying.

Angel soothed her cries and held her close to him for comfort. They didn't speak and Angel didn't try to comfort her with reassuring words, knowing they would just fall upon deaf ears. For now this was all she needed and he was more than willing to give it to her.

* * *

Buffy jumped as she saw her sister standing a few feet away from the bathroom door. She put a hand on her chest as she took deep calming breaths to bring her heart rate back to normal.

"Dawn, what you are doing?"

"I woke up and you weren't there." Dawn looked down at the ground as strands of hair fell into her eyes. Buffy sighed feeling guilty and took a few step's forward, she grabbed her sister's hand and led her down the long hallway. Dawn said nothing and allowed Buffy to drag her back to the room they were sharing. Anne had insisted that the two girls stay with her until they felt like they could be alone in their house. There were too many memories in that old house and Buffy thought it was best that they didn't go back until Dawn got a little better.

Buffy picked up a light jacket and handed it to her sister; she put hers on soon after and led Dawn down the stairs and out the back door. They sat on the back porch looking up at the sky and sometimes gazing into the yard.

"Why did you bring me out here?"

Buffy smiled at her sweetly, not looking at her just gazing out into the yard. "Did you know back here was the first place Spike and I kissed?"

Dawn's eyes widened and her mouth fell open. "Spi- Spike kissed you?" Dawn asked in shock.

Buffy nodded. "Yep, right on the lips.

"Why?" Dawn asked completely shocked.

Buffy smiled and rolled her eyes. "Remember my tenth birthday and how both mom and dad forgot about it…?"

Dawn nodded. How could she forget that day? She'd only been seven or eight at the time but one doesn't forget when their sister's birthday is forgotten by her parents.

"Well, after I snuck out I came here and told Spike everything, he wanted to make me fell better and he thought that was the best way to do it. After that this always became our spot. We always came out here to talk, hang out together, or just sit and enjoy each others company." Buffy smiled remembering all the times she and Spike spent together and almost forgot that he was in the hospital… almost.

"That's nice but that still doesn't say why you brought me here," Dawn said giving her sister a strange look. She moved closer to her and put her head on Buffy's shoulder and took a claming breath.

Buffy sighed and looked down at her sister's head on her shoulder. "I want finished with the story but the point is that you have to be strong. It's ok to miss mom but she wouldn't want you to do the things you're doing now."

Dawn lifted her head off Buffy's shoulder and glared at her coldly. It was the first sing of emotion, besides sadness, that Buffy had seen in her sisters eyes since their mom died. It shocked her but at the same time brought a since of hope to her.

"What so you mean she wouldn't want me doing what I'm doing? What am I doing, Buffy?"

"You don't talk to anyone besides me, you won't let me go anywhere without you, and you've completely pushed Connor away. He's just as worried about you as I am but you won't even talk to him. I'm sure he knows that you're going through a hard time right now, we both are, but it's only a matter of time before he reaches his breaking point."

"What the hell Buffy," Dawn yelled. "What the hell? Mom is gone and all you can think about is Connor and me?"

"You need him right now," Buffy tried to reason.

"Yeah but I need you more" Buffy looked gobsmacked and Dawn got to her feet and stood right in front of her older sister.

"You and all the doctors think that I've been 'this way' because mom died and that's true, but that's only half the reason. Did any of you ever stop to think that that combined with the loss of my father, and then loosing you for so long made me like this? I hated mom for so long for what she did to you and me but having her say that stuff to me in the car right before we…. It just opened up my eyes a little."

Buffy looked stunned then curious. "What did mom say before… you know?"

Dawn gave Buffy a bitter smile and chuckled. The sound of it sent shivers down Buffy's spine. "She said that she worked her butt off for us and that we didn't appreciate it. If I look back on things I can't really see any times that we did appreciate the things that she and dad did for us. Does that make us ungrateful?" Dawn looked about on the brink of tears and Buffy didn't look much better.

"No, they were never there for us and all we had was each other," Buffy chocked out.

"Who did mom have after dad left? We got each other but who did she get?"

"She could have had us but she never took the time to try anything. I took care of you, I raised you, and she even said so."

"I know," Dawn said, "but I still think we could have been better daughters. When I think about it now it breaks my heart to think about how she must have felt every time you got into a fight, every time I left and went to Angel's with you, we left her all alone. I'm not about o leave you alone to suffer the same fate. I'm going to change things and this time I'm going to be there for you since you are the mom now. You have too much to bear and I won't let you brae it alone. It's more my fault that it is yours anyway."

By now both girls were crying and Buffy had pulled Dawn into a tight embrace. Tears were streaming down both their faces but neither of them carried. They had never really grieved for their loss yet and this was the chance to get things off their chest.

"What… what do you mean that it was mostly your fault?"

"When we were back at the school when mom came to pick me up she told me to go with her but I wouldn't."

"Dawn that's not-"

"No Buffy," Dawn said cutting her off, "I'm not finished. She told me to come with her and I rant o Connor, Angel, and Spike. She was on one side and they were on another, I backed up away from her and went to them. I can only image how that must have looked to her. It must have been what she felt like all along, like we never listened to her and just went on with our friends no matter what she said."

"Dawn, what happened was not your fault," Buffy said trying to ease her sisters worries.

Dawn scoffed. "Oh yeah? Well if it wasn't my fault then it wasn't yours either. Why don't you tell me that then I'll believe you."

Buffy hung her head in shame and didn't even try to try a spit out the words. She felt like it was her fault; she knew it was her fault. Dawn had brought up many good points that also made her believe that it was her fault but she wasn't about to tell her sister that she helped fuel her guilt. She looked up at her little sister who at that moment looked much older than she was; Buffy could only imager how she herself looked.

"I blame myself and you blame yourself, the two of us aren't getting anywhere with this. Despite everything we can both agree that we didn't have the best childhood and that mom and dad weren't the best parents, even mom agreed with that, but what's done is done. Mom is gone and nothing we say or do can change that. We can live for today and let what happened make us better people. You can stop stalking me like some Buffy loving zombie," Buffy gave her sister a little smile which she returned coyly, "and I can stop wollying in my self pity and be a better big sister and stop running from everything all the time. So what do you say?"

Dawn smiled and took a seat net to her big sister as and gave her a sideways hug. "I say that that sounds good but you have to do something else for me to me total ok with this." Dawn smirked micfhiftly and Buffy rolled her eyes.

"What would that be?"

"When Spike wakes up you have to tell him how you feel. I don't want you to get lost in your responsibilities of taking care of me and loose track of your love life. I know you love him a lot so don't even try to deny it."

"How did you get so insightful and observant?" Buffy asked cocking her head to that side. "I've been gone too long and I completely missed your development of a brain."

Dawn hit her lightly on the shoulder and let out a true laugh for the first time in a week. "I'm serious Buffy. I love you and want you to be happy. Spike will be ok and when he wakes up I want the two of you to spend lots of time together… just don't forget about me."

Buffy smiled and kissed her sitter on the head and pulled her into a loving embrace. "Don't worry squirt," Buffy muttered, "I wouldn't forget about you for the world."

* * *

"Good morning girls," Anne said as Buffy and Dawn came down the stairs and took a seat at the table. "In the mood fro breakfast?"

Buffy glanced at Dawn and gave her a knowing look. Dawn rolled her eyes and turned to look at Anne anyway. "That would be nice."

Anne gave Dawn a beaming smile and shared a look with the blond haired girl.

"We'll be going to school today so we'll need all the strength we can get." Buffy said.

Anne nodded in understanding. "Breakfast will be ready in a minute and after that I'll give you a ride to school if you need it"

"No," Dawn said shaking her head, "I called Angel and Connor so they'll be over to pick us up in a little while."

"All right, in that case I'll hurry breakfast along. I don't want you to be late when your ride gets here."

Buffy gave her sister a small smile and Dawn returned it. Things were going to work out.

* * *

"Hey guys," Buffy said. She quickly jumped in the passenger's seat next to Angel "Where's Cordy?" Buffy glanced at Dawn who was looking down at her lap while Connor stared at her with sad eyes.

"She went to the hospital to check up on Spike before school started." He put his hand on her shoulder and gave her a reassuring squeeze. "She wanted to makes sure he was ok and she really doesn't know what to say to you right now. She knows that both you and Dawn have been throught a lot with your mom and even your dad but she just can't imagine what you must feel like with Spike being in a comma. We all know how you feel about him and she just can't take seeing you in so much pain."

Buffy tried to hold back her tears. She knew Angel wasn't looking at her but she also knew that he could tell she was about to cry.

"We're all going throught something right now -"

"I know. All of you should stop trying to be there just for me and Dawn. We all need to pull together and take care of each other. I love you guys and I don't want to hurt you by pushing my problem son you. It's bad enough that I've pulled Chris and Faith into this, I really don't want to mess them up." Buffy let her tears run freely down her face as she glanced down at her lap.

A hand on her shoulder broke her out of her trance and she looked back to see it was Connor.

"You're our friend Buffy and if you're in pain then we're all in pain. Your problems are ours as well so you should never think that you're pushing them onto us." He glanced at Dawn who was looking dead at him and gave her a reassuring smile. She returned it and he turned his attention back to Buffy. "We all know you would push us away if it kept us safe and out of your problems but we don't want you to have to do that. We want you and Dawn to be able to come to us, all of us, with your problems because we know that you would do the same for any of us."

Angel came to a stop and they all glanced up. They had arrived at school.

The four teens got out of the car sullenly and started the walk to school. Right before they reached the entrance doors Buffy pulled Connor into a hug.

"Thanks for the pep talk."

Connor chuckled and rubbed her back soothingly. "No problem. What are friends for, right?"

Buffy nodded into his chest and pulled back. She smiled up at him and pulled back. "I'll let you and your girlfriend talk. I don't want her thinking I'm gonna steal your from her like Cordy."

Connor nodded and Buffy went into the school with Angel by her side. She really needed to talk to Cordy.

"So…" Dawn said. "How've ya been?"

Connor surged. "I'm ok but I really wanted to know how you were doing."

"I'm better. Buffy and I talked some things out and I surprised at how much that helped."

People walled passed them into the building and neither of them missed the pity looks they gave Dawn as the passed. They had missed a week of school already so it didn't surprise Dawn that everyone knew what had happened.

"Come on, I'll walk you to class."

Dawn nodded and took the hand that was offered to her and entwined her fingers with her boyfriends.

"Thanks for you know, the ride."

"Dawn you know you don't have to say that."

She gave him a warm smile and shook her head. "Yeah, but I want to."

* * *

"Cordy!" Buffy yelled as she made her way threw the mass of people.

Cordelia came to a stop as Buffy ran to catch up with her.

"What?" Cordy asked softly. She didn't dare look Buffy in the eyes.

"Cordy what's wrong?" Buffy put her hand on Cordelia's shoulder and she looked up at her.

"Have you been crying?" Buffy asked worried. The Queen B Cordelia Chase never cried, ever.

"No," she choked out. "I'm perfectly fine. Why do you ask?"

"Cordy stop shitting me. We've been friends since we were little, tell me what's wrong."

The bell rang startling both of them and Cordy took advantage of that opportunity and tried to make it down the hallway.

"Oh no you don't. You're coming with me." Buffy grabbed Cordy's arm, much to her protest, and dragged her into the nearest bathroom.

"Buffy what the hell are you doing?"

"You haven't talked to me in a week, I see you today and you look like you've been crying, and just a few seconds ago you were trying to run away from me! What the hell I am I supposed to think?" Buffy took a claming breath as Cordy continued to stare at her. She looked like she wanted to say something but was much too afraid. "Why won't you just talk to me?"

"Because I'm not supposed to!"

"Excuse me?" Buffy asked looking clueless as all get out.

"You heard me Summers; I'm not supposed to talk to you."

Hearing Cordy call her by her last name hit her really hard. Before they had become friends Cordy had called her that on a regular basis. She'd thought it was something that they had over come a long time ago.

Buffy shook off her initial shock and gave her friend a hard look. "And why the hell not" Buffy asked putting her hands on her hi. She was not about to back down after she and Cordy had worked so hard at their friendship.

Cordy's face fell and she looked down in shame. "My parents think that you're a bad influence on me and that what happened to your mother was your fault. Despite what I've told them and what little they know about you they think it's in my best interest that I stay away from you or I'll end up like your mom or Spike."

"And what did you say." I was no surprise to Buffy that Cordy's parents had said all of that stuff. They weren't pituitary fond of their daughter hanging around 'her kind of people', as they like to call it, but they had known and respected her mother when she was alive. It seemed now that she was dead they were making their feelings about Buffy very clear.

Cordy took a deep breath. "I told them that they could go fuck themselves and that you were a great person. They did retaliate and tell me that if I wanted to keep my trust fund that I would listen to them and do what they said."

"Are you going to listen to them?" Buffy felt her heart breaking throught her chest at the thought of not being friends with Cordy anymore. Things with her and Angel would be strained and she didn't want to loose them as her friends. She knew that Cordy loved her but she also loved her trust fund.

This time Cordy was the one to put her hands on her hips and stare at Buffy in disbelief. "Do you really think that I would do that to you? I love you."

Buffy smiled and Cordy pulled her into a tight hug.

"I know you do but you also love your trust fund. I don't want to loose you as a friend but I don't want to be the reason that your relationship with your parents is strained or the reason that you're broke." Buffy pouted and Cordy hit her shoulder playfully.

"My parents wouldn't cut me off completely. They'll give me money for collage and still let me keep the car but I'll just have to get a job and pay for everything else that I'll need."

"But you hate working," Buffy winded. "Are you sure you're will to get a job for me."

"It's not just for you but yes, I'm sure. My parents need to know that it's not ok to talk about my friend and expect to get away with it then blackmail me into acceptance. But if you think that you and I shouldn't be friends…"

"No, thank you."

"You are very welcome."

* * *

"You look like you're in a good mood." Angel said as Buffy took a seat across from him and next to dawn, who was sitting next to Connor.

"Yeah, despite all the scared, pity, freaky looks I've been getting, I'm doing just fine."

"After all that happened it's sort of expected."

Buffy frowned down at her food and looked back up at Angel. "Yeah, I guess but I wish that things were different. Look, Willow and Oz." Everyone looked up from their meals to and did indeed see Willow and Oz making their way across the grass. "Where are Xander and Anya?"

"They're probably in the broom closet getting a quickie in before class."

Buffy laughed. That was something that Spike would have said.

"Hey guys." Willow greeted. Buffy gave her red head friend a hug and gave a small nod in Oz's direction.

"How's it going?" Oz asked. Will sat down next to him and he wrapped his arms around her middle.

Buffy gave the two of them small smiles and glanced at their entwined hands. "I'm better but I'm just glad that Dawn's ok now." They all glanced over at Dawn and the younger Summers felt the blood rise up into her cheeks.

"Hi," Dawn squeaked meekly and curled up into Connors side. He glanced down at her and wrapped his arms around her protectively. "Buffy," Dawn wined, "why did you do that? Now everyone's looking at me."

"It speaks." Oz said playfully.

Dawn lifted her head from Connor's side and stuck her tongue out at Oz.

Willow giggled and hit her boyfriend lightly. "Hush, your one to talk."

Oz just surged and took out a soda from his bag.

"Hi all." Xander exclaimed lordly as he greeted his friends.

"Hi, Xander and I just got done-"

She was cut off as Xander put a hand over her mouth. He laughed awkwardly and took a seat on the other side of Connor and Dawn.

Xander dropped his hand and glared at his tact less girlfriend. "Anya, what have I told you about broadcasting our relationship to everyone?"

Buffy smiled at the two of them but couldn't help but see who all of her friends had someone to call their own. Willow had Oz, Xander had Anya, Dawn and Connor, and Angel had Cordy. Cordy… Where was Cordy?

"Angel, where is Cordy?"

"She went home early so she could talk to her parents and look for a job. Do you know anything about that?" Angel looked over at Buffy and smiled as she blushed and looked away quickly.

Cordy had gone to confront her parents and had already began her job search. She sighed. That was just a whole new thing for her to feel responsible about. She did promise Cordy that she wouldn't blame herself for what happened to her but how could she not? Cordy was her friend sand her acts had caused her life to become complicated.

They were all feeling the loss of Spike, even though he wasn't gone he was still in a comma, and that was her fault. At least that's what she thought. All her friend tried to hide their pain andwere really tryingto be strong for each other, but Buffy couldn't quite get over her pain and loss. Dawn was even making more effort that Buffy thought she herself was. She shook her head trying to rid herself of those thoughts and focus on being with her friends. She hadn't been able to concentrate on anything all day.

Every class was a challenge, especially the classes she had with Spike. Just listing to his name being said was becoming hard. You would think that teachers would get a clue when they didn't see a student for a week and hear all the rumors floating around the school. Did they really have to call his name for roll when he plainly wasn't there? Hadn't Anne called the school and told them what happened, and if she did what had she told them?

"Buffy did you hear me?"

"Huh, what?"

Willow sighed and kissed Oz goodbye as he got up and headed into the school building. Buffy looked around to see Connor and Dawn standing off to the side glancing at her and Willow as Xander, Angel, Anya, and Oz made their way off to class.

"I said it's time to go to class," Willow said grabbing Buffy bag off the ground as her blond friend shakily got off the ground. "What were you thinking about? Was it Spi-"

"Don't Will. Just don't. I have a free period right now so you guys can go off to your classes." Buffy grabbed her backpack from Will and walked past her. She stopped in front of Connor and Dawn and ruffled Dawn's hair a little. "I want you to ride home with Connor and Angel today, ok?"

Dawn nodded. "But where are you gonna be?"

"I'm going to the hospital right now but after that I'll get Anne to drop me off at home. I need to talk to Chris and Faith for a little while and get some stuff sorted out."

Dawn glanced at Connor who was looking the other way trying to give the two sisters some privacy, but wasn't out of arms reach if Dawn needed him. "Are they still at our house? I don't care but I just…"

Buffy nodded in understanding. Dawn didn't really know Chris or Faith and If she was in Dawn's place she would feel a little uncomfortable with two stranger living in their house, even thought the two of them didn't plane on going back home until … well they didn't know when they were going back.

Buffy took Dawn's hand and gave it a squeeze and looked at Connor who was now staring in their direction. "Take care of her."

Connor opened his moth to say something but closed it and gave Buffy a firm nod. With that Buffy was gone, on her way to the hospital.

* * *

"Why won't you wake up?" Buffy asked as she stared at the boy in front of her. "Why won't you wake the hell up and stop this pain that's been building in my chest since I found out you were brought here." Tears slowly fell down her flushed cheeks and she shakily reached out and grabbed the pale hand by the bed side. "I love you, I love you so freaking much and if you don't wake up then you won't ever hear me say it."

Buffy cried, harder now, and bit down on her lip hard enough to draw blood. "When I was in L.A you were all I could think about." Buffy chocked out in a raspy voice. "Sure I thought about our friends and my sister but you took up most of my thoughts. My mother was on my mind a lot then to but you might be happy to know that the woman who put you here is dead."

As the words left her mouth Buffy felt like she had stabbed herself in the back. It hurt to talk about her mother, alive or dead, but it hurt even more to hold the feeling in her chest that she did now. "I know that you could never be glad that my mother was dead even if she did put you in this hospital bed." The motor beeped steadily serving as the only sings of life in the boy that she loved. There were cards and flowers neatly put on the huge table next to the bed. A new card caught her eyes and Buffy could d only assume that Cordelia had brought it by on her visit that morning.

Buffy let here tears silently fall down her face and removed her had from Spike's. She gasps as she saw the small movement that gave away sings of life. It was small but Buffy knew that she'd seen it. Spike moved his hand.

**I'm back and so sorry about the long wait. I'm going to finis this story and the next chapter that I post will be the last one. Fell free to yell at me but I don't care as long as you review. I've gone back and re read all of my stories and I think I am in serious need of a beta. If you guys know anyone who is interested or are interested yourselves tell me because I'm really desperate and it would help me out so much.**

**I hope you liked this chapter. (I made it extra long since I haven' posted anything in a while.) Lol. If you have any questions fell free to ask and I'll clear thingsup for you.**

**I hope to finis this really soon. Thanks for reading and reviewing. See ya soon. --**


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Eleven

"Spike? Are you awake, baby? Say something." Buffy stared into his closed eyes with hope that they would soon flutter open. She ran her had through his now brown rooted locks and rested her face next to his.

At that moment a nurse came in and took one look at Buffy's tear stained face and sent her a look of pity. She'd been there since the young blond boy was brought in; she'd been back everyday since.

"He moved! He moved his hand!"

"Calm down Miss." The nurse took a hesitant step closer to the young teen as Buffy glanced at her hesitantly. "Coma patients sometimes show sings of movement but that doesn't mean that he is awake. I'm sorry, I'm going to have to ask you to leave, it's time for a sheet change and meds."

Buffy glanced at Spike then looked back at the nurse and nodded glumly. She gathered her things and pressed a small kiss atop Spike's head before exiting.

After having Spike move his hand there was no way that Buffy was going to risk going home and have Spike wake up alone. The nurse had to change the sheets and give him his meds but after she was done Buffy had every intention of returning to the room. She'd love to see someone try to take her from that room. If Spike was moving there was a chance that he would wake up soon, no matter what the doctors said. Buffy wasn't about to leave him in that room to wake up alone and confused. She would not leave him again.

Buffy caught sight of the nurse leaving the room and gathered her thing back up and went back inside. The sheets had been changed but other than that the room looked the same. She slipped off her shoes and put her bag in the chair beside the bed. She glanced down at the boy who she had loved for so long and forced herself to smile. Trying her best not to get tangled in the cords or hurt Spike in any way, Buffy slid into bed with the other teen and rested her head on his chest. Being so close to him brought back so many memories of the good times they had shared and she started to cry. Spike was lying beside her and he might not ever wake up! The shear thought was too much to bear and she broke down into more sobs.

She'd thought the crying part was over; it should have been over and done with. Now was supposed to be the time when Spike got better and woke up like in the movies. He'd wake up as soon as she said that she loved him and he would say he loved her too and that he always had. They would hug and then kiss and then a doctor would come in to cheek on him and see that he was awake. They would call it a miracle and Spike would be just fine, he would be able to go home the next day, and everyone could go one like this never happened. But no matter how many times she whispered those three words to him he wouldn't wake up! He wouldn't come back to her. What would she do without him? She was so lost.

* * *

"We are brought here today by a loss that will stay in the minds and hearts of al those who are gathered here today as well as those who aren't."

Buffy held Dawn closer as her sister began to tremble with sobs. Angel came up to the two siblings and wrapped his arms around both girls. The fact that he was there for them only brought so little comfort and Dawn continued to sob.

"Would anyone like to say a few words to before we bestow this soul to heaven?" He looked around at the group gathered before him and gave Buffy a small smile as she nodded to him. She passed Dawn over to Angel and kissed her gently on her fore head. The younger Summers girl looked like she wanted to protest to Buffy leaving but she was silenced as Conner slipped her out of his brother's arms and pulled her into his.

Buffy slowly made her way to stand beside the casket. Before she met the eyes of the people she stares down at the body that was inside. That's just what it was, a body. The person that she had known for so many years was gone and this was what was left in its place. A body. Cold and empty.

"My mother was a hard working woman and good at her job. She raised two children in a loving home and she did most of it by herself. Although, we didn't always see eye to eye I would like to think that she knew that she was loved by both of her daughters." A sob tore throught the silence and Buffy looked over at Dawn and gave her a small smile. "She was a good mother and person at heart and she will be missed greatly." The people in the crowd nodded in agreement and the preacher resumed his place but Buffy stayed by his side.

"The Lord has commanded her home and we stand witness for it today." He closed the coffin. "You may place your roses and give your last respects." He nodded to Buffy and she placed her rose on top of the coffin as it was slowly lowered into the ground. The rest slowly followed her lead. Buffy watched the others place their respected roses down and said a small prayer or some kind words. Dawn was so shaky coming up to place her rose Connor had to keep her steady so she wouldn't fall down. When it as over they slowly departed and everyone went back to their cars

"Where are all theses people going to go? Will there be a wake?" Dawn asked as she looked up at her sister with red rimmed eyes.

Buffy shook her head. "Mom didn't want a wake so we're not having one."

"Oh," Dawn said softly. It was strange to her that her mother actually planed out some of the things for her funeral, things she wanted and didn't want. It felt wrong to her that you had to think about theses things when you were still alive. Planning your life after your death before you even died just wasn't right. Even if it wasn't written anywhere Dawn was sure that her mother would have wanted her father to be here today. He couldn't ever return Buffy's calls, and she knew that her sister along with Anne called him a lot. When they called his job they said that he was out of town on business and wouldn't be back for two weeks or so. When they told them the reason they needed to get n touch with him they promised to get a message to him right away. Still, he had not come nor had he called.

Dawn felt Buffy's hand slip out of hers and looked over at her to see what was happening. "I'm going to the hospital to stay with Spike for a while." Dawn went to protest but Buffy gave her a stern look. "I really need this right now Dawn. Get in the car and go with Angel and Connor, they'll take care of you for right now." She placed her hand on her sister cheek and wiped away a tear. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm gonna come right back and get you, ok?" Dawn gave her sister a small nod and Buffy walked off with Faith, Abby, and Chris.

"You ready to go, B?" Faith asked. Abby's small hand clung to her mother's black dress. The silk material was bunched up in her hand wile she looked up at Buffy with sad eyes. Chris had taken her to LA with him to see her grandmother while Faith stayed behind with Buffy. Buffy had protested and told her friend that she should go home for a while; the brunet wasn't hearing any of it. She'd stayed with her to this very day and she didn't regret a thing. Abby's parents had broken the news that Buffy's mother was dead very genteelly. She didn't really understand that much but she did know that Buffy and everyone else was very sad. She didn't want her Aunt Buffy to be sad.

"I'm ready," Buffy said. They climbed into the car and Buffy sat in the back with Abby.

"Where we going?" Abby asked.

Buffy turned towards her and gave her a small smile. "Were going to see my friend Spike. You remember him right, the one who got hurt?" Buffy's voice cracked a little but Abby didn't seem to notice as she nodded that she remembered him. "I would like you to meet him, I'll have to ask your mommy but do you think that you want to?"

The younger girl nodded enthusiastically making Buffy smile. Abby was happy to meet anyone that Buffy said was her friend. She liked all of Aunt Buffy's friends, except that loud mean girl who called her a brat. She didn't like her at all. She hoped that Buffy's friend wouldn't be sad that her Aunt Buffy's mommy had gone away. Maybe she would come back before they got to the hospital, she thought hopefully.

When they arrived at the hospital Buffy asked Faith and Chris if it was ok if Abby came with her to meet Spike. They agreed but they thought it was best if they talked to her about Spike's condition. They quickly did that but Buffy didn't think that it cleared anything up for the four year old.

The two silently made their way down the hall in silence. Once they reached Spike's room Buffy's hold on Abby's hand tightened. They entered the room and the sight of Spike lying there, still not awake and hooked up to a machine, saddened her. She stared at him for a moment, unmoving, rooted to the spot just a little inside the thresh hold of the door. Abby was looking back and forth between her and Spike, but her eyes soon landed on Buffy again.

"Spike?" the little girl asked. Buffy broke out of her trance and looked down at the little girl beside her, she smiled softly, but it didn't reach her eyes, and nodded as they entered the room a little bit more. Buffy sat down in the chair beside Spike's bed and lifted Abby into her lap. Buffy stared at the boy in the bed beside her and her eyes stared to mist. Her mother was dead and they had buried her today. When they were putting her mother into the ground it had really hit Buffy that her mother wasn't coming back, she would never see her again and she and Dawn would really be alone. The fact that she had been holding on to her mother so much had surprised her. It hadn't really surprised her that she held onto her memory but the fact that she still clung to a little bit of hope that what she had gone through was all just some horribly bad dream had. It was nerve racking how much could go wrong when things in her life were already so messed up. Abby wriggled around in her lap and leaned up so she could get a good look at the sleeping boy.

"Spike's like Sleeping Beauty?" Abby asked. Buffy smiled and nodded.

"A little," she said looking down at the small girl in her arms. "Except, I don't think a kiss is gonna be able to wake him up." Abby looked a little put off by her words but that didn't stop the little girl from leaning over and pushing her small lips against Spike's cheek. Abby looked even move put out when Spike didn't open his eyes like the princess in her movie move had.

"You have to do it," the girl cried. "It didn't work!"

"Abby," Buffy started, "this isn't a book or a movie so I don't think this is going to work." Abby pouted but didn't press it further. Buffy proceeded to tell Spike about her day and Abby interjected with things that she had done as well. Soon Faith came to retriever her daughter; she gave Buffy a soft smile and led her little one out of the room.

Buffy just sat there thinking about Abby and the kiss she had given Spike. She had seen him move the last time she'd come to visit and there was always a chance that he would wake up if she kissed him. She quickly banished the though from her mind as what she was thinking caught up to her. Thinking that she was in a fairy tale and that everything was going to turn out ok was one of the reasons that had gotten her into this mess. She still regretted that she'd called Chris to come and get her instead of pushing past her mother's words like she had always done. She should have known that it would take her more that two days to get back into her life, and for that she'd lost her mother and Spike was in a coma.

"This is all my fault," she spoke softly. She knew that she had promised Dawn that she would stop blaming herself but who else could she blame? How Anne could even stand to see her in her house was a mystery to her. She had landed her son in this position and she was being so nice to her. She tried to pull herself together once she felt the tears start to come; they fell and landed on her folded hands that were resting in her lap. Something inside her broke and she stated to cry, cry for her dead mother, cry for her depressed sister, Spike and his distraught mother, and lastly for herself. She knew that she wasn't worth anyone's tears so she cried for herself most of all.

She composed herself and got ready to leave. She gave Spike a quick kiss before she exited the small hospital room.

* * *

The next day was nothing short of a miracle in Buffy's mind. She had been sitting out in the back yard under what she had deemed her and Spike's tree, when Anne rushed out searching for her. As the older woman got closer Buffy could see the tears that were running down her flushed cheeks. She thought the worse and scramble up from her position in the grass and got to her feet.

"He's awake," Anne said. The words hit Buffy and she nearly fell to the ground. They had been waiting so long for this day to come and now it was here. Was he ok? Had he asked for them? Even more questions flooded her mind but the main thing she wanted was to see him.

"Let's go," Buffy spoke shakily.

* * *

Dawn was upstairs napping when Buffy came and roused her. When she had given her the news the young teen had become ecstatic. She offered to call everyone up and let them in one the good news, Anne and Buffy were too occupied in there own thoughts to do anything other than get to the hospital.

When they arrived Dr. Rogerson greeted them and got them up to date with what was going on. Spike was awake but they still needed to run test to make sure that he would be ok and nothing major had been damaged during the accident. After the test had been preformed two of them could enter the room at a time, no more.

When the rest of their friends arrived Dawn filled them in on what was going on while Anne and Buffy huddled close together in a connate, they were drawing comfort from each other. Spike was awake but there was still a possibility that he could come out of this with long term damage. The thing that put him in the coma was a head injury so the thought that he could sustain some brain damage was a very freighting possibility. That thought had never occurred to any of them, they had all been so concerned with their friend waking up they hadn't really thought about the lasting effects that he might sustain form the crash. When they first brought him in the doctors told them that he had some internal bleeding and very bad head energy. He was very bruised but the only thing that he had broken was his ribs. Dawn had broken her arm and received some nasty cuts and bruises, but Ms. Summers had taken most of the damage.

When the car impacted with the guardrail, it crashed throught it, because Joyce had been driving she absorbed most of the force fro the crash. From there the car rolled down into the wooded area and continued to flip until it collided with a tree. By then all there occupants had been rendered unconscious. On lookers who had seen the crash called the police and they were on the seen in no time. By the time they reached the car Joyce had already been impaled with a rather large piece of metal. She'd already lost a lot of blood when they'd gotten to her so they had to act fast in order to try and save her. In the end they were too late. The doctors had patched her up as much as they could but she was week and defeated. They thought it was remarkable that she had held on for as long she had. They said that it was very possible that she could have been killed on impact.

They doctors had told the story to Anne but not to the blond girl at her side. Buffy had so much on her mind already, the blue eyed woman couldn't bear to bring her down even more with the horrible tale of the way her mother had sustained her injuries. Anne loved Buffy like a daughter but there were times were she was overtly confused on how she should feel. She knew that Buffy had been in L.A when all this had happened but she couldn't help but think that if the girl had been here things could have been avoided. She wasn't saying that the girl had driven her mother to get drunk and chase after her daughter; she knew that Joyce had a mind of her own and was responsible for her own actions. The truth was that when she had gotten that call from Angel she broke down. She'd let the phone fall from he hands and she'd fallen to the floor in grief, this was even before she'd known that he had fallen into a coma. She'd been returning from the cafeteria when she spotted Buffy standing outside her son's room. She couldn't move at that moment. She hadn't thought of what to say to the girl when she saw her, as she knew she would sometime, but at that moment she knew that she could not blame her. Buffy looked awful, stricken, and broken. Her heart went out to the younger girl. Her heart went out to her even more when she learned of her mother's death.

She had known for so long that her son was in love with the eldest Summers girl. They had been friends for so long, very close. They shared something that the others did not and that is what made it beautiful. When Buffy had been sent to live with her father, Spike had been heart broken. He moped around the house for weeks at a time, refused to talk with her or any of his friends, until he realized that Dawn was hurting as well. The younger girl had broken out of his funk, determine to try and fill the hole that Buffy had left both of them with. Though neither of them succeeded, they became even closer than they had been. This is why Anne could not bring herself to blame Buffy, for she knew that her son would do everything in his power to protect Dawn. He loved her like a sister and saw it as his responsibility to keep her and her older sister safe.

"I can't believe that I wasn't here when he woke up. I've been here everyday since this has happened, and where am I when he wakes up? I was sitting under a tree feeling sorry for myself. "

Anne stared at Buffy and put a comforting hand on the girls shoulder. "Buffy, please try not to think that way." She took a deep breath, thinking very carefully about how to phrase what she was about to say. "William will be fine." Buffy stared at her. Anne cloud read her questioning expression. She was wondering how she could possibly be so sure that William would be ok. It wasn't something that she could explain, she just knew, and she knew that Buffy needed to know it as well. "I'm his mother; I know these kinds of things."

"Ok," Buffy said softly. Her face relaxed and her breathing evened out. She turned away from Anne but did not break the hold the older woman's had on her hand. She stared at her sister sitting with Willow and Oz, who was drawing on her cast. Angel, Xander, and Anya were chatting to themselves across the way about something or another; it was strange how they knew that she and Anne needed to be together. She'd seen Cordy and Connor when they arrived but she didn't know where they had gone off to. She sighed. They were all worried and egger as well. She felt selfish for thinking that she was the only one going throught something. Hell, Anne was sitting right next to her and she wasn't providing her with anything but extra weight. She was comforting her while her son was in a hospital room with a doctor deciding his fate. What could be worse? Him not waking up at all, she told herself. She hadn't even had to wait with the rest of them when Spike, Dawn and her mother had been emitted. Sitting in here wondering if the person you loved would be walking out of the doors with you was a scary feeling.

She felt Anne shift next to her and returned her attention back to her. "Tell me something I don't know about him," she found herself saying. Anne looked at her with confusion then realization sparkled in her eyes.

"When we lived in England I would always tell him stories about America. I'd traveled to England to do research and met Daniel, William's father, and we fell in love and I didn't leave. William loved it there but he always loved hearing stories about my home town, he talked about visiting and I always promised him that when he got older we would. When William was about six his father died, at the time I thought we both needed a fresh start, what better place to come that somewhere he'd love right?" A small smile graced her lips and Buffy could tell that she was seeing the story play before her. "I thought it best we moved somewhere small so we moved here. As much as William loved the thought of coming to America for the first time he was still very distressed over the loss of his father. Like any six year old he clung to me, because I was still hurting I let him. William wouldn't go outside or try to make new friends; all he wanted to do was stay inside and sit with me. After the first couple of weeks I realized that wasn't healthy for him and took him out to the park."

"The park where we met," Buffy mused.

"Yes, that was the day that he met you. He hadn't made friends with anyone so you were his first friend here." She smiled fondly and Buffy found herself smiling back. "You made quite the impression on him; he talked about you all the time."

"He did?"

"Yes, and he still does." Buffy blushed and looked away. Spike talked about her often! To his mother no less. She tried to calm her rapidly beating heart. She couldn't let herself get too excited; after all, they were five then. But that still didn't explain why he talked about her so much now…

"When you left he was so upset."

Buffy frowned. "I didn't want to leave," she said softly. "My mother was so angry with me, she wanted to send me away as soon a possible. I didn't have time to say goodbye, to anyone. I didn't have time to tell him…" She coked back a sob. What was she thinking leaving with Chris like that? Spike had pleaded with her to stay and she still walked d out on him, again. This time it had been of her own free will, which and hurt the most. How did he feel as he watched her walk away? That was the last time she had seen or spoken to him before the accident. She fully intended on returning but that was a choice that she had made when she arrived in LA, not before.

"Tell me something about him that I don't know." Buffy stared at the woman next to her in shock. Anne smiled. "As a sixteen year old, do you tell your parents everything?" Buffy shook her head. "See; just tell me something, anything."

"I love him." Anne continued to smile. "I know that it's not really about him but in a way it is. I love him for all the sweet things he does, not just for me, for all of us, all of our friends, and you as well. When we're together he's so open with me, it's very easy for me to forget about everything and everyone when he's around me, that's just how good he is at making me feel like I have all of his attention." She couldn't contain her tears but she didn't wipe at them, she let them fall down her flushed cheeks freely. "He has your eyes, not that you didn't already know, but when we first met I couldn't look away." She let out a soft laugh. "I was five and he was already something special to me. When I was in LA I would think about him all the time. About what he was doing, or what he was thinking about, I just wanted to be with him."

Anne gave her a little pat on her shoulder and Buffy turned to look at her with broken green eyes.

"Did he hate me? When I left I mean."

"No," Anne said simply. "He missed you but he could never hate you. Your sister explained what happened the day after you left, he was heart broken. He was angry for a long time, at your mother for the most part, but mainly at himself for not being able to keep you here. It got so bad that he didn't want to be around anyone. Dawn had to remind him that he wasn't the only one going through something, that she and everyone else missed you too. She said it was like you died because she couldn't see you even though you were so close. Joyce completely refused to talk about you, and for a while William wasn't allowed to se her either."

Buffy sobbed. He never told her. He said that he missed her but never that it had been that much. Dawn never told her that their mother stopped her from seeing Spike, she wasn't allowed to see any of them but she never knew that her mother had cut Dawn of from them as well. She needed to calm down or she was going to have a panic attack. She brushed off the hand that Anne placed on her shoulder in favor of burying her head in her knees. She rocked back and forth lightly in her seat and tried to concentrate on getting air into her lungs.

"Buffy!" Anne yelled. That was the last thing that she heard before she blanked out.

* * *

Buffy knew she had to be dreaming, if she wasn't then she had simply gone back in time. She was sticking to her dream theory until someone proved otherwise. She watched her younger self and young Spike sitting beneath their tree in deep conversation.

"_Do you think they hate me?" younger Buffy asked. "They did forget my birthday after all." She looked up at Spike with big green eyes and a small pout on her lips. He couldn't help but smile. _

"_How could anyone hate you?"_

"_What do you mean?" She was confused. _

"_Well, you're you" Spike said trying to find the right words. "I don't hate you and I don't think that parents are allowed to hater their kids." _

Buffy snorted at younger Spike's logic. She broke out of her own thoughts as she turned her attention back to her and Spike's younger selves.

"_How could they forget?" She asked in distress. "It's my birthday and I never forget theirs. Am I being punished?"_

"_No, you didn't do anything wrong." He pulled her into his arms and she didn't resist. She nuzzled her head into his chest and inhaled the smell that was her best friend. _

"_We'll, at least you didn't forget," she whispered._

"_I'll never forget." They pulled apart and stared at each other for a while. Suddenly, Spike had his lips pressed onto hers. It was short but sweet. She opened her eyes, which she'd just realized that she had closed, and blinked up at her curly haired friend. "Happy birth day, Buffy."_

The scène in front of her faded but the warm and fuzzy feeling it left her with inside did not. She was soon looking at another younger version of herself, this time she was older than ten. She looked about fourteen- oh she remembered this memory very clearly now.

"_Why did you bring me here, Spike? I'm still very mad at you and you still have not apologized."A very angry Buffy glared up at the seemly calm looking Spike. He took her hand, and even thought she was made at him she allowed him lead her to the edge of the lake. He sat down and she followed his lead. _

_She sat glaring at the glistening water for a while as he stared at her. He could feel his intense gaze boring into her but she made no move to look at him. _

"_I'm sorry, ok?" He sighed and Buffy timidly turned to look at him. He really did look sorry. _

"_Why did you say that to Parker?"_

_He wouldn't look at her but she kept on looking at him. They were both so stubborn, it would be their downfall._

"_I didn't like how close he was to you," he said softly still not looking up at her. _

"_We're just friends, Spike. As a matter of fact, we're not even friends yet, I was just talking to him. Besides, why does it even matter?" She awaited his answer readily thinking that he would tell her that he liked her and that he was the only one she was supposed to be that close to. The only reason that she was even talking to Parker while sitting that close to him was to make Spike jealous. He and Parker had words and Parker accused him of having a crush on Buffy. This was shot down by Spike, very quickly, as he defended himself by saying that they were just really good friends, best friends. He promptly insulted Parker by calling him a slezz ball and grabbed Buff and led her off._

"_I don't like it when you get too close to other people, Buffy. Especially boys."_

"_Why not? What about Angel and Xander, we're pretty close." _

"_Not that close, never that close. Besides, Angel and Xander aren't pansy's," the boy mumbled. _

_Buffy couldn't help it, she laughed. Parker was kind of mean. It felt nice to know that Spike was looking out for her best interest. When she turned back to look at him she found he was staring at her. She smiled. _

"_You can look at me again I see."_

_He chuckled. "I needed to see if anything had changed." He leaned a bit closer and Buffy held her breath. _

_She closed her eyes and whispered, "And has it?"She could feel his breath on her cheek now and she told herself that if he kissed her they were more than friends. She felt his lips brush against her cheek, she nearly died of disappointment. _

"_Yes," he finally said. He pulled back and she opened her eyes and saw he was getting up. He extended his hand and she accepted readily. "So do you forgive me?" he asked sweetly. _

_Buffy pretended to think about it as she cocked her head to the side and gave him a thoughtful look. "I guess-aahh" She let out a yelp then a laugh as he hugged her to his chest and twirled them around. _

"_Now that that's all taken care of, let's get you back home. Don't want your mom to find that you're out of bed."She rolled her eyes and they headed off._

Buffy smiled fondly at that memory. It was that year that she found out that what she felt for Spike was more than just friendly love, thought at that time she didn't love him, she did have a rather big crush on him. He never acted on her advances and she stared to give up hope the next year that he liked her that way. Willow and Cordy assured her that Spike would return her affections; all she had to do was make the first move. She was going to confess to him the night that her mother had her sent off to LA. She'd told him to wait up for her by his window because she was coming over and she had something important to tell him.

She was on her way when she heard Dawn down stairs yelling. She ran down to check on her and found her happily embracing their father in the living room. She had been very surprised to see him and she soon became even more surprised to find out why he was there. To take her with him. To take her away from her life, her sister, away from Spike. Her mother came downstairs and told her that it was for her own good and that she would thank her later in life when she was a stable and dependable young woman after her sentence in LA. Before she knew it she was yelling and screaming at her mother, telling her that this wasn't what she wanted or what she needed.

"But it's what's best," her mother spoke icily.

She would never forget those words her mother said to her that night. All she remembered was numbly saying goodbye to Dawn and sitting in the car crying her eyes out, her father sitting in the driver's seat trying to awkwardly comfort her with unsure words. That night was just one of many nights that she cried herself to sleep. She pushed the memories away and stared to come out of her dream like state. She could hear muddled voices around her but she didn't want to open her eyes yet. She wanted to go back to the dream world where she and Spike were happy! She didn't want to return to the real world that was full of pain and regret. So she just laid there with her eyes screwed shut, hot tears falling down her cheeks as she mumbled something that her ears couldn't quite understand.

"Hush, it's ok. I got you. I got you, Buffy."

"Spike?" Her eyes shot open and she found herself looking into two beautiful crystal blue eyes. It was the first time she had seen them in weeks. Then it hit her, she was lying in Spike's hospital bed, with him. He was comforting her. He was trying to make her feel better and he was the one who'd woken from a several week long coma. She cried.

"Why are you crying?" He looked at the doctor and glared. "You said she was fine. Why is she crying?" he asked demandingly. He looked Buffy over quickly for injury. "Buffy, are you hurt, luv? What's wrong?"

"She's fine," Dr. Rogerson said. "She may still be upset over whatever made her pass out in the first place but there is nothing physically wrong with her." He looked at the crying girl and the very worried boy and smiled sadly. "I'm going to have to ask her to leave if she doesn't stop. She's upsetting you and we don't need to get you over excited."

"No," Spike spoke quickly. "Buffy, you have to calm down or they're gonna make you leave." Buffy's cries did not stop, if anything they got louder and she started to thrash. He saw his mother talking to the doctor and they called a nurse in. She walked over to them and he eyed her warily. "What are you…?" She stuck Buffy with a needle and she soon went limp in his arms.

"Sedative," she explained simply. She turned back to Dr. Rogerson and asked, "Will that be all, doctor?"

"Yes, Nurse Davis that will be all." She smiled at his mother and walked out of the room.

"I think I'll leave you alone," Dr. Rogerson said.

When he was gone his mother turned to him and smiled sadly. "I've been so worried about you."

"As you've said a thousand times already, mother."

They had already had some time to talk to themselves before the doctor came in when Buffy started to wake up. Shortly after Buffy passed out, the doctor told them that they could go in to see Spike. They all decided that Anne should go in first to have a little privet time with her son. They talked, and like she expected he would, he asked about Buffy and Dawn. She'd told him that Dawn was fine, she was sporting some bruises and a broken arm, but she was fine. He then pressed the issue of Buffy and Anne had no choice but to tell him what happened. He quickly insisted that she be brought to his room until she woke up. How much he cared for the girl failed to surprise her.

"I didn't mean to worry you," he said softly. He looked down at Buffy and brushed some hair out of her eyes. "Any of you."

"We know you didn't and you shouldn't concern yourself with such things." She stepped closer and placed a hand on his cheek. "I'm glad to have you back. Buffy's been here everyday since the accident, she and Dawn are staying with us. They don't really want to go back home until they're doing a little better."

"How have they been doing?"

"They're holding up but they've been pretty shaky, Dawn more over her mother and Buffy more over her guilt about you."

"About me?" His mother nodded. "She feels guilty about the accident? How could she? It wasn't her fault, she wasn't even here!"

"I know that but I can see how certain factors may make her believe that it was her fault," Anne said evenly.

Spike narrowed his eyes. "You haven't blamed her have you? This is not her fault."

"William, I have in no way indicated to Buffy that any of this is her fault. Do you think I would have her and her sister in our home if I blamed her? I know you lover her but-"

"Who said that I loved her?" He looked taken aback by his mother's words. "I mean, I love her but only as a friend."

"What is it with teenagers and trying to kid their elders?" She sighed but the smile she wore did not leave her face. "You're not fooling any one, William. Well, except Buffy. She's still under the impression that you see her only as a friend. I don't know why with the way you pine after her."

"I do not pine!" he shouted.

"What ever you say." She leaned down and kissed the top of his head. "I'll go so your friends can have a turn with you. I'll be back soon, darling." She was half way out of the door when Spike stopped her.

"Mum?" he asked. "You didn't tell her did you?"

"No, I'll leave that up to you." And she was gone.

Over the next couple of hours Spike caught up with his friends as they told him stories of life on the outside. They all stayed until visiting hours were over and Anne soon returned, Dawn was in toe.

"Buffy still sleeping?" Dawn asked.

"Yep, but the doctors say that the sedative's worn off, she's just sleeping because she's a little exhausted." He eyed Dawn and gave her a sweet smile. "Have you been taking care of her?"

"Yes." She glanced at him with her light sugar brown eyes. She was so happy when she walked into the hospital room to find him sitting up in the bed looking at her sister. Some things never changed, no matter how much the world around them had. "She's missed you, ya know? She's been spending a lot of her time here with you." She sat down in the chair beside the bed and tucked her legs underneath herself. Anne continued to stand silently by the door just watching the pair interact. Dawn idly let her left hand wander towards Spike's before it made contact and she grasped it. "She dragged me right along with her so we're both a little tired most days."

To prove her point a small yawn escaped her mouth and she blushed in embarrassment. Anne walked farther into the room and interrupted the two. "It seems that I don't need to prove my point on why it's time to head out." Her lips graced across her son's head and she pulled back to look at him. Since he awoke from his coma he'd noticed that she looked at him differently. It wasn't so bad; he just wasn't very used to her intense gaze. "I'll be back bright and early."

"And I'll be back right after school," Dawn piped in. She looked a little put out that she couldn't come back with Anne but she made no protests. "I'll probably have the whole gang with me when I return, just a heads up." She smiled wickedly and bolted up from her chair and made her way over to her sister. "Night, Buffy." She kissed her head softly and gazed down at her older sibs sleeping form. Buffy stirred lightly under her touch but she did not wake. She had rolled over so now instead of facing Dawn she was facing Spike's hip.

"I'm heading out now," she said to Anne. The older woman gave her a nod. Dawn smiled once more at Spike before she exited the hospital room.

"Where's she off to?" Spike asked.

"I'm letting her spend the night with Connor and Angel." Spike raised an eye brow at his mother. He never though his mother was one to condone such things. Seeing her son's quizzical gaze she explained. "Tonight would be the first night that she would be without Buffy. I thought it better to leave her in the care of someone she would be responsive to if need be." Spike understood.

"I don't think you'll want anymore kisses from me tonight so I'll take my leave." She resisted the urge to rush back to his side and walked closer towards the door. After what she'd been through it was so hard to willingly walk away from him without wondering if she'd ever see him again. It was only for the night. The hospital said they need to keep him for an overnight observation and that if all was fine he would be released latter on tomorrow evening. That seemed like such a long time to her but she supposed that it was for the best, she wanted him nice and healthy when he returned home. She gave him one more thoughtful glance before she walked out of the room once more.

* * *

When Buffy woke she realized that she was cuddled into something warm and quite soft. She slowly opened her eyes and was welcomed with a calming darkness. She rolled away from the warmth in order to look at her surrounds. From the faint beeping sounds filling the room she quickly realized that she was still in the hospital. Very soon the events that led her to where she was now caught up with her and she gasped. Buffy looked up and she was soon met with the soft sleeping gaze of Spike. He was no longer eternally sleeping, that much she could tell. Even in the dark room she could see the glow his skin had taken on. He reached out timidly to touch and let her fingers trail a pattern across his skin.

She drew in a sharp breath as her hand started to tremble. He felt so warm. She pulled back and fixed her gaze on his peaceful face, his chest rising and falling ever so often. The best part was that he was breathing on his on without the help of a machine, he was awake and she was lying in the bed with him.

What happened to her was still a bit foggy; she remembered talking to Anne then struggling to breathe, then darkness. She closed her eyes, trying to find the missing pieces in the back of her mind somewhere, but she came up with nothing. She slumped back on the bed in hopelessness.

"Buffy?" Her breath hitched in the throat and she closed her eyes. She heard Spike shift over and soon she could feel his breath on her cheek. Her body became even stiffer as she tried desperately to fake sleep. "I know you're awake." His voice was full of amusement and she was dying to see his facial expression.

She opened her eyes and stared. "How did you know?"

Spike chuckled. "We've been friends for a long time, I think I can tell the difference between your sleeping face and your pretend one."

She continued to stare up at him then suddenly Spike had an arm full of Buffy. He eagerly returned her embrace as she buried her head in the crook of his neck.

"I was so scared for you," she said softly. Spike felt her tears roll down his neck and briefly wondered how she had any more left to cry. "Staying strong has been so hard. Don't ever leave me again." She pulled back and stared into his sparkling blue orbs. "Promise me, promise you won't leave me again."

"I promise," he said breathlessly. "You have to promise not to leave as well, luv."

His words hurt; she pushed through it thinking it was only fair that he ask that of her, she'd left him twice already. After a while she nodded in agreement and pulled him into another hug. "I Promise."

They sat there like that for a while, the both of them just holding each other, taking comfort in the others presence. Every now and then Spike would brush a lock of her hair or brush against the bare skink of Buffy's neck, the sensation it brought to her drove her crazy but she held herself together and clung to her best friend.

She'd missed this, the closeness that they always shared. He had always been there for her and even when they had been apart, thoughts of him kept her sane during the times when she would just break down and cry. The time she spent in LA taught her a lot about herself and she learned to be on her own. Granted, she'd been on her own for a while now, but taking care of herself without having to watch out for her little sister was exceptionally different. The choices that she made only affected her and that was something that she had gotten used to.

Coming back had been wonderful, but she'd never really given much thought to how much things would have changed in her absence. Seeing Spike, having him look at her with those eyes that touched the very center of her soul with a passion that was forever burning in the icy blue depts of his eyes, eyes that she wanted to shine with the same love that burned in her bleeding heart. Coming home and seeing him had never felt as good as she'd remembered. It was better, intensified from their long time apart. She'd been so determined to have things be right as she left them upon her departure, that she hadn't given any thought to who she had become during her time away from home. She'd wanted her friends to welcome her back home with open arms, which they had, but also wanted those arms to resemble the ones that she'd been in two years ago. She'd wanted too much. Change as well as the recognizable love that they had all held for each other. Their silly carefree childhood ways that that consumed so much of their time within their lives.

Things had changed and she had only realized it when her mother brought it to her attention and busted the bubble of denial that had been so evidently drifting farther and farther within her eyesight. Having her choices affect the people around her, things had been too much. No wonder she'd left. Spike's hand grazed her face and she realized that she was crying again. Having him touch her like this still shook her to the core.

Knowing that she'd almost lost this, his touch, his gaze beaming down on her. She'd almost lost Spike, forever. The boy that was holding her in his arms at this very moment was in a coma a couple of hours ago and she'd almost lost him without him knowing how she felt. The dream played in a loop in her head as she debated with herself if she should keep her secret. She gazed up into dazzling blue eyes and her heart ached.

"Buffy, what's wrong?" His concern was genuine. He hated when she got the heartbreaking look in her beautiful forest green eyes.

"Spike?" Her voice was quite, barely above a whisper. She was surprised that she'd even heard herself.

"Yeah?" His voice was raspy, probably from not using it fro so long.

"Do you love me?" Somehow she asked those words in an even softer tone than before.

Buffy felt Spike stiffen and her heart speed up. She had prepared herself for rejection but she could still fill the ach in her heart that would be left after Spike tried to smooth things over. He'd tell her that he loved her, just not in the way that she did.

"You know I do. We've been friends for such a long time and we're so close. A lot closer than the others." He smiled down at her and cupped her face. His smile faltered as she shook her head violently and bit back a sob. He'd never seen her like this before.

"I don't mean as a friend, Spike." Her gaze had turned serious but he could sill see the vulnerable look that lingered there. Her hand found his and there fingers entwined, they fit like pieces of a puzzle.

She couldn't possibly mean that the way it sounded. He shut his eyes tightly as he prepared himself to take a chance that his brain told him was a mistake. He opened his eyes and stared at Buffy who was looking up at him with the most hopeful look he'd ever seen on her face. Her spoke. "I love you, Buffy, and not just s a friend."

"It's ok if you don't feel-... What did you say?" She couldn't have heard what she'd thought she heard.

"I said," Spike replied as he gripped his finger under Buffy's chin and forced her to meet his gaze, "that I love you. I'm in love with you, Buffy Summers, and I have been for a long time" Then their lips meet and Buffy melted. It was soft and sweet and filled with the tended love that he'd spoke of the moment before. It was everything a first kiss should taste like, feel like. She wound her arms around Spike's neck and pulled him closer; he responded by nibbling on her lip and deepening the kiss as she parted her lips to let his tongue slip in. They soon pulled back when they ran out of air.

"Oh my god, you have no idea how long I've wanted to do that."

"What was stopping you?" she asked.

"I- I just thought that- I don't know!" He slumped down next to her and she brought her hand up the brace up against him.

"Calm down," she said softly. "You still might be a bit tired and getting upset will only wear you out faster."

"I think it was you that wore me out." Buffy blushed and smacked Spike lightly on his shoulder. He grinned down at her and she smiled back. She'd almost forgotten how easy it was to be around Spike. She'd always liked that about their relationship. He leaned down and brushed his lips against hers briefly.

"We should both get some sleep. Its been a very long day."

Buffy nodded and both of them got into a comfortable position on the small bed. As they both slipped into a quite slumber, Buffy thought about all the things that would be coming their way after they left the hospital. They had a long journey ahead of them but she couldn't think of anyone else she'd rather be taking it with.

**Epilogue **

"Spike!" Buffy's high pitched squeal ran out as she wrapped her arms around her boyfriend's neck to steady herself. She gripped him tightly as she glanced over his shoulder to see their friends splashing in the water not too far away from them. She smiled sweetly as she watched Dawn running around with Abby and Chris safely away from the water as Faith worked on her tan.

They had all gone out and taken a trip to the beach for a little bit of fun in the sun while Faith, Abby, and Chris were in town. The small, but happy little family had made it their mission to come down to Sunnydale as much as they could to check on Buffy and make sure all was well. Thought the two adults were older than all of them everyone seemed to get along well once they got to know each other. It helped matters a lot that little Abby was there to warm and charm everyone's hearts with her sweet smile.

Life was hectic, but things were starting to slow down now that mid terms were over. Everyone had been crazy that last week. During the time that her mother had passed and Spike had been in the hospital Buffy's grades had declined quiet a bit; both she and Spike had a lot of work ahead of them those following weeks. It didn't help matters that they were living under the same roof and had just started a new relationship that both of them had wanted for years. They both found themselves exploring each other in ways that they had only dreamed of; lucky they had Anne to keep them on top of their school work, other wise they would have fallen even more behind.

It had been while since Spike was released from the hospital and started to recover, three months to be exact. He was doing much better and their relationship had blossomed just as everyone around them knew it would. The first thing that they'd worked on was trying to get Spike back on his feet. He'd known that things would be different when he woke up and left the hospital but he never dreamed that he would feel as different as he had. It felt like he was the same person, yet he wasn't. Spike felt like something had shifted and changed inside of him, he couldn't put his finger on it but he knew that he had changed.

He stared down at the girl in his arms and knew that this was one of the things that the accident could never take away from him.

He sat her down and she giggled softly as he stole a quick kiss.

"You ready to go back in the water?" he asked resting his hands on her slim waist.

Buffy sent him a mock glare and shook her head. "My hair can't take any more ocean water. I hate to see what it'll look like tomorrow." Spike touched her damp hair and moved it out of her eyes. They were shining with a brightness that rivaled that of the sun, they did that a lot when he was around now.

"Will you two get a room already!"

They turned around to face their two friends who and joined them in the water making their way over to where they now stood. Cordy and Angel were just one of their many coupled up friends. Willow and Oz were the only ones that they trusted to work the grill without getting themselves blown up, it was sad but true. Oz and Willow had grown even closer in what seemed like relatively short time and were often seen openly snuggling on campus.

It seemed like everyone was in a happy blossoming relationship, and for once Buffy didn't feel left out. Xander and Anya were as strong and open about their relationship as ever, Anya often caught Spike alone to talk about fun things that she and Xander had tried together, much to Spikes embarrassment. She thought that now that he and Buffy were a couple he could uses her advice since she knew Xander was much to moist to talk about any of the things that they had done together with their friends. Xander quickly put a stop to it once he over heard one of their conversations. Anya complied and soon found other interesting things to talk about with the bleached blond.

Dawn and Connor were pretty much at the same place in their relationship, much to Buffy's relief. They were taking things slow but had learned so much about each other after experiencing so much over the last couple of months. Buffy and Spike were both happy for them and found it funny that the younger teens had come to terms with their feelings for each other before they did.

Buffy smiled at Cordy and Angel came to a halt in front of them. Angel had his arms firmly locked around Cordy's waist while she leaned back into his embrace lovingly.

"It looks like the foods ready. How about we head over and help them set up?" Angel asked.

Spike and Buffy gazed over at where everyone had stopped what they were doing and had started to gather around to eat. Spike turned back to the couple and nodded. "We'll be along in a minute." Buffy gazed at her boyfriend questionly as Angle and Cordy made their way over to the large group.

After the two were out of their eyesight, Spike leaned down and brushed his lips softly against Buffy's in a loving kiss. She opened her eyes and stared up at Spike in a bit of a daze. She brought her fingers to her lips as they buzzed from the kiss that they had just shared.

"Wow," she said. "Just wow."

"I'm glad you think so." His face soon grew serious and Buffy noticed that he looked a little nervous.

"What is it?" she asked worriedly.

"It's nothing bad; I just have something that I want to ask you." He watched as the worry quickly left her face and was replaced with a curious look instead. Spike reached into his pocket and Buffy gasped when she saw what he had pulled out. "I know what you must be thinking but I just want you to hear me out. We've only been going out for a couple of months but those months have been the happiest that I've been in a long time. I wanted to give you this to let you know that I want this to work, I want us to work. No matter what happens around us I want you to know that you'll always have me there for you, no matter what. This ring will remind you of that."

He slipped the silver ring onto her finger then let go of her trembling hand. Buffy brought her hand closer to her face to look at the ring that had just been placed onto her finger. The small silver ring fit perfectly on her finer while the two intertwining hears rested in the center of the band. Her green eyes left the ring and fixed firmly on the boy standing in front of her. She refused to cry, there had been enough tears falling from her eyes lately and she desperately didn't want to ruin the moment.

She could find no words so she did the next best thing; she threw herself into Spike's arms and held on for dear life. They stood there embracing each other for a long moment, paying no attention to the world around them.

"I'll be with you for as long as you'll have me," Spike finally spoke. They were both oblivious to the person approaching them.

"Hey," Dawn said softly as she came up to the embracing couple. Spike turned around to look at her but Buffy buried her face into Spike's chest. Dawn gave them quizzical glance and raised her eye brow. "Everyone is eating and your food is getting cold." She smiled as Spike rested his hand atop her sister's head and pulled her closer to him. "How long are you two gonna stand here?"

"Forever," Buffy whispered. She removed her face from Spike's chest and looked up at him with flushed cheeks. Dawn gave them a bewildered look but Spike understood. He could live with that.

-

-

-

The End

**This is the end and I hope you all liked it. I'm so happy that to see this story some to an end and I am sorry for the long wait. It would men so much to me if you would share your thoughts with me and drop me a review. I hope you all are happy with the ending! Hope to see all of you soon!**


End file.
